I had a dream about mufflers last night. Today I feel exhausted...

What a freaking moron...

...so I stop by the new property to drop off some more paperwork, and when I am finished I decide to take the remainder of my lunch break to drive over to the apartment and see where the best parking is etc.

Now, when they showed the apartment, we used footpaths and such to get to the place. Behind the wheel is another story. I can't freaking find the place. I did see the building in between two others, but never did figure out how to get to it. What a moron...

Think the movers mind being told to just find the place? Hehehehehe

Update

Ah, the joy of moving

Doing more throwing out than packing; software boxes, old papers and such. My great bad habit is the stacking of loose CD's. Now to round up the dozens of jewel cases, mate them with the CD's and pack them...

Picking up the keys.

Hello, first floor!

No more stairs. Nuff said. A C-note and a half less out of the checking account a month was a bonus, too. Apparently, May is the month when people all over the metroplex flee their digs like they were on fire, and the properties around here scramble to offer incentives. I'm not complaining. I'm hoping Stodgy is enjoying the same good fortune, as he has landed in town completely without the resources to find a place. Land during the weekend, at work on monday. Not even the decency of time to go househunting.

Reminiscing on the last time I went through this...

CuteNubilePayedToShowUnits: And here is our first floorplan. It has blahblahblah, and over here blahblahblah...

Master Bates: Wait! No one has died in this unit, have they?

CNPTSU: Oh! No!

Master Bates: Well, can you show us a unit where someone has?

CNPTSU: ~eyes as wide as saucers~ Silence....

CNPTSU: ...French doors leading to the patio. The main playground is right in the middle of the courtyard...

Master Bates: ~elbowing me~ That's perfect for you, buddy. Easy access. hehehehe

CNPTSU: ~eyes as wide as saucers~ More silence....

I never got a call back from that property...

I am already incommunicado till this is done, so send up a flair or beat a drum, folks...

Happiness is...

Gregory Boyington as C.O. of VMF-214 in "The Flying Misfits" on the History Channel.

araah.

In the Immortal Words of Sheriff Bart in Blazing Saddles: "Oh, baby. I just have to."

This guy sucks great!

When both Sean Hannity AND Alan Colmes gang up on a guest interviewee, you just KNOW, he is either an evil creature, or a complete fuck-tard.

Michael Crook, who owns the domain name, runs the website for the link above, and is an utter jackass, contends that U.S. troops are grossly overpayed, and should not be payed allowances for off-base housing, com-rats, and other additional pay outside the base-pay structure, stating that U.S. troops should provide for themselves for grocery and housing from base-pay, just like 'the real world'.

After watching the interview, I am literally shaking. I want within pistol distance of this fucking scrote. I want to take this lazy-eyed, long haired, porn-star mustache wearing, borrowed suit wearing, college attending while leeching on his hapless folks, ass clown, completely out of the gene pool. This fucker is more outrageous than Michael Moore, who at least, in public, celebrated the commitment and sacrifice of U.S. Troops, and instead went after the policy-makers in 'The D.C.' who, in his eyes, are the problem, not the troops on the line. I'm so fucking livid after this interview, I have backspaced two dozen times at least so far to correct typos. I just don't do that. I'm that mad.

Here's a little nugget of information. The average tenure in the U.S. Military, an all volunteer one, is one term of between four and six years. Joey Bagodonuts enlists or receives a commission and jets after his first term. That's thanks to the Clinton administration, who under which, the pension for full tenure troops of twenty years was reduced from fifty to thirty five percent of base pay. Why bother reenlisting? You reenlist for a career and the benefits of retirement after a life serving your country in it's national defense, not just for the next term, and the job security it provides. They leave in droves.

Now. The average base-pay for a 'first-termer' is Under the salary level that entitles a U.S. citizen to food-stamps for subsistence assistance.

They make so little, that the U.S. Government has to help feed them.

I remember super-Tuesdays in base housing, where all the dependent families lined up for surplus food, or 'Government Cheese'. This was nineteen ninety eight.

I personally had no family to support, go figure. I was living high on the hog. Not a care in the world. Just my own bills. On five hundred dollars every two week payday. Just over ten thousand dollars a year, and no additional allowances. Wow. A grossly overpayed U.S. Military Pig. Now think about the same schlub that had a family and couldn't get into free base housing and had to live in town. On ten thousand dollars a year.

This motherfucker needs to get caulked.

You gotta be freaking kidding me...

Revenge of the Sith: Propaganda Piece.

While reading one of the various write-ups in today's Dallas Morning News about the new Star Wars film, I came upon this gem: an excerpt from another paper's write up.

In A.O. Scott's New York Times review of Sith, he writes:

Sith is about how a republic dismantles its own democratic principles, about how politics becomes militarized.
And he comments on Darth Vader "echoing the words of George W. Bush."

Okay. The world has gone completely insane. A space-fantasy saga that started out with a bunch of muppets and ended as a saga told with PC game graphics extravagance, is now a propaganda piece?

The Rant.

Sure, Lucas' films, like any filmaker's, have the opportunity to comment on society, and he has in film. That's filmmaking. Lucas' job, ultimately, is as an artist; to entertain as many people as possible. Lucas' film company, Lucasfilm ltd., and Twentieth Century Fox's job, ultimately, is to sell as many tickets, fill as many seats, sell as many DVDs, and sell as much merchandise as humanly possible.

So why on Earth would they make a film, hoping to do just that, that was a direct commentary on a sitting administration? Hey guys! Lets make this one polarize the viewing audience into left and right, piss off the voting majority, and have over half of it not buy our theater tickets, DVDs, and Star Wars crap! That's a plan! Right. What a bunch of crap.

So effectively, Mr. Scott is touting this film as his, the liberal media's, and the 'good, blue part of Americas' rally film. Get a life, or better yet, get out of line so the showtime I'm buying a ticket for doesn't get sold out. Schmucks.

Sweet Sean Hannity! Those ARE lovely hands!

American Dad is the tits.

This Just In:

Stodgy is feet-dry here state-side. He should be back to his parent squadron in Yuma, from which he was 'borrowed', by 1730hrs. A special note: When they got off the bird in New Hampshire, the USO was waiting for them and handed out cell phones so the troopies could make immediate, and free, phone calls home...

One for the underdog.

This is the United States. In the United States we root for the underdog. At a grass-roots level, we All are the underdog. Underdog to our neighbors, wealthy relatives, companies that employ us, the guy/gal dating our ex, etc. We root for the RedSox over the Yankees, the Cubs for the Pennant, The Raiders for the Superbowl, even the beloved Padres(yeah, that's mine). For that, movies like Rocky, Rudy, Hoosiers, Mystery Alaska, Miracle, Victory, even Major League, are our rally films.

A new addition:

Cinderella Man

'Schoboat' is on his way...

Email received:

Hey, Folks,

This will be my last email from over here. I'm outta here today. Will call everyone when I get back Stateside. Hope to talk to ya'll very soon.

Expect Miller Brewing Co. stock to go up...

Does this shirt smell like stripper to you?

Yes. It was LBG's bachelor party tonight. But enough about him. Her stage name was 'Cadence'. I shit you not. She also dressed in a pirate outfit. Arrrrr This parrothead had a blast...

My most supreme moment in poor personal decision making.

Warning: The following post contains material intended for a mature audience. Parental guidance is advised.

...So I'm walking through the packing area, on my way to unlock the storage area that contains all our zany high dollar Vespel tm. material, when I see a guy struggling with a couple hundred pound homopolymer rod trying to get it on a pallet for shipment. I toss my keys down and we hump it onto the skid. I get called over to sales shortly after and clear up a freight billing issue along with a credit hold matter with our metro courier. My day goes on. And on.

At about half past four in the afternoon I begin to make a mental summary of what has been accomplished and what remains for the day to end. Still have to run the end of day report for UPS shipping and check the shipments for mistakes. Check. Still have to run the cycle counts on Polypropylene sheets to Ops. Check. Still have to get laid. We'll shelve that. While doing this I half-unconsciously slip my hand into my pocket. No, you pervs. Not because I was just thinking of the last of the aforementioned list, but because I was wanting to get out of there and was fiddling with my car keys, only my car keys

Weren't there.

Now where in the hell did I put my keys? The last time I had them out was to open the cage, which I didn't have to do anyway, and I set them down... On the pallet! Fuck! Shit! Fucking Shit! I walk over to the staging area for outbound shipments to find the pallet and the area is

Empty.

OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKSHITSHITSHIT! Where was that pallet going? Where are the fucking Bills of Lading. No. No. Not that one. Nope. No. Class 70 Polymer rod. Bingo. Bullocks Freight Lines. Going to... Denver. My car and house keys are going to Denver, CO. Bon Voyage.

OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK!

My heart is going like a 20 mike-mike minigun at this point. I scramble for the phone. I know that trailer has to hit their yard in Grand prairie before it starts rolling north. I get on the phone with their dispatcher. He is very helpful. After laying out the situation to him, I hear the beeps associated with a cell phone with two way radio capability in the background.

Hey Mike, where are you now?

Just made the McKinney pickup.

Great! He's still in town!

Would you look on the skid from your last pickup for a set of keys?

I'm looking at it right now. Nope. No keys. Must've fallen off.

My heart is in my throat at this point.

No, Mike. Look UNDER the shielding. Somewhere around the rod underneath.

A long pause.

Found 'Em.

Can you run back down and drop them off before you hit the yard?

On my way.

An hour later a big Bullocks Freight Lines Semi comes pulling around, the driver dangling a set of keys out the window and producing a big shit-eating grin. Ever have one of those days?

Notes.

A Mind Blower.

Rick insisted I view Memento on DVD and pushed a copy of said title on me, and since The Shield is in a one week hiatus, I popped it in this evening. I think I sprained my brain.

To paraphrase Wallstreet:

BCA is good. BCA works. A BCA league membership gets you free table hours in places, most of the ones around here as a matter of fact, that charge Joey Bagodonuts between ten to fifteen bucks an hour. And when you take advantage of this time, you meet guys like Jerry, who, rusty from a fourteen month deployment to the sandbox, still stroked his way towards my awe. We went my way on the match count, but this guy could shoot the lights out. Every match is a lesson.

Note to self: Stop walking in on conversations...

Walking into JT's office:

JT: ...Nope. We have no churches where I live in McKinney..

Clime: You have a bunch of them! That's where my folks live. Right down the street.

JT: Uh-uh. You are mistaken. No churches whatsoever.

Clime: You have at least five on your major east-west artery!

JT: Where?

Clime: You have two Methodist, one Presbyterian, one Baptist, and one Lutheran, with a private school, even...

JT: We're talking about Churches Chicken.

Clime: Oh. I'll be heading back to my monkey cage now...

Trevor Hoffman's 400th save. One of only three pitchers in history to accomplish that feat. Hells Bells, baby! 

Go #51 

This folks, is why I go heavy...

Gypsy

After reading this article, I sat back and reflected for a moment. My first thoughts were "Man, I'd like to run into the fuckers who did this to the pooch." Then I thought to myself "A lot of talk. Would I REALLY drill a few people for this gal?". I sat and thought for a moment. I Weighed the odds on getting caught, realistically, and the consequences, a life in the pen. Given the fact that one of my fabrication guys is an ex-con for agg-assault and has stories galore, make that Serious thought on the matter.

Yeah. I think I would double-tap the fuckers who did this.

TriCounty's site for a real tough pooch...

I really want to know what makes mohammedians tick, other than their TNT cardigans...

Wednesday Evening in retail hell...

...So Eric and I are walking through the back room when we happen across one of the HT Salespeople kneeling on a mat and facing East to Mecca. Unfortunately for him, the wireless sales phone he is wearing at this time starts to ring.

Eric: Uh-oh. Hajji is beeping. That can't be good...

Clime: ~stifled uncontrolled laughter~

You play pool, Mike? Yeah, Why do you ask? You got a crease on your pants.

You ever watch those nature documentaries on the cable?

Tuesdays find me with the guys at the poolhall. Scratch that. Most weekday evenings find JW, Randy and I in one of four pool rooms. Usually at Fox and Hound, sometimes at Main Event. Tonight was a special occasion. The Nytef Manufacturer's rep was in town...

I was approached early in the morning by Randy to set things up, and we decided on the now-known-as-the-ultra-Happy-Place, Wizard's Sports Cafe. He said the tables were fast, the food was good, and that we should give it a try. By noon, JW was on board, and by two, Randy informed me that the Nytef rep wanted in, and wanted to chalk it up as a business dinner. Score.

Then I found out that Chris was a BCA player and on an APA league. Hmmm. Talents will be tested. We all arrived got a table and tossed quarters to decide teams. Great. I got Chris. Talents won't be tested. Here are some notes.

I haven't been to Wizard's in a coupla years. I remember the cocktails wearing generic cocktail outfits. Not the case, now. Now it's a tight black sweater, plaid mini, white ruffle top thigh-highs, garters, and heels. Giggity, Giggity.

Chris' talent left me as the closer, as he would run the table to the eight and nine before making an error, and on my turn that's all I had. I got no decent work in until we alternated breaks so I could run on the break as well.

I have GOT to get a three part break/jump stick. My banking game is excellent, but some table problems have no solution but a scratch, or so I thought. Chris showed me the jump ball solution to most of those problems. Made it look simple. It was.

Stodgy, buddy, The Happy Place has a new name, that new name being Wizards, so bring your sticks next time. You can watch me make my two new babies sing...

Crap

Note to self:


...No matter how cool and breezy it is, shut your effing window at night. It is five a.m. and there is a skunk rummaging around outside. The whole room smells like the bastard. I wonder how loud a 9mm really would be between three level buildings....