Boo!

Mardi Gras in October

LBG , his girl and son, and I spent a very unique Halloween at J 's home on Historic Swiss Avenue in Dallas. This was Awesome. We set up patio chairs in the driveway and watched the procession in the cool night air.

I'll tell you. I have never seen anything like this. My earlier experiences with Trick or Treating have always been low key. From Dusk to maybe an hour after night fall, would find me giving candy to clumps of munchkins that came to the door maybe every ten minutes or so. Not in this case. I am not exaggerating when I say that the sidewalks were FILLED with people traveling up and down Swiss Avenue. It really was like watching Bourbon Street in New Orleans during Marti grass. A human throng of munchkins and older deadbeats alike. Apparently, Swiss Avenue is THE place to go trick or treating in Dallas and people drive from miles around to take their kids down this gorgeous street with its beautiful old houses and homeowners filled to the gunwhales with loot, ready to be passed out to the kids.

Maybe the houses themselves are the draw. They are very, very old, albeit renovated and very well kept. Just the age of the homes and the classic architecture would make every one of them kinda spooky at night, on this night of nights.

Put it this way: Dallas P.D. was directing traffic for this affair. That's right. Directing Traffic for a night of trick or treating. I was astounded.

The homeowners along this avenue eat this night up bigtime. Some houses had PA systems playing either party music or creepy music. Lights were strung everywhere. Across the street from J, I was one to witness the awesomeness that was the George Foreman Grill of Death, the Jack Lalane Juicer of Death, and the Refrigerator of Death, complete with medium rare skeleton on the grill, a gory muck in the juicer, and a goat head in the fridge. Eeeek.

So there we were, J, his wife, his sister, LBG, his girl, her son, and I having a great time. I'm a single guy, so doing something like this comes very rarely, and is quickly taken advantage of. Fun had by all.

On a side note, LBG's girl's son, at age eight, has already cultivated the most treasured trait of sarcasm. Right on. He'll be the next Dennis Miller, just watch and wait.

I was kind of bummed out all day at the fact that I wouldn't be doing what I intended to do, which is take out a foxy woman for dinner and a really scary movie, but now that I can look back on the way the night turned out, I'm kinda glad she had plans she couldn't get out of.

Boo!

My Thoughts.

Baseball, if it's good enough for Magnum, it's good enough for me.

Well, the wild ride is over. The boys of summer have played out the stage show we call baseball and now the stage is dark. The lights will be out until next April. The inside of the theater is still and gloomy, and will be that way until next spring, but oh, what a show it was...

I must let you know that I am a National League fan. My passion lends itself to the San Diego Padres. From there it goes to whoever beats the team that won our division(ahem, Giants or Dodgers, every freaking year). Then my support goes to the NLCS winner who faces whatever AL team in the World Series. There are some anomalies to my pattern of support. I will always root for the Cubbies. Hell, everyone who follows baseball is in a small way a Cubs fan because this is America, and America is in love with the underdog. Example: 1980 olympic hockey team, John 'Rudy' Rudiger, Rocky, The Mighty Ducks even, you get the picture...

I have even rooted for one AL team. The Anaheim Angels. There is a special story to this, and I am welling up with some tears as I even begin to type this. Lets see if I can get through this. My grandmother was from Los Angeles. Every memory I have of her includes a visual of her sitting in her living room with, when he was alive, my grandfather, and later alone with the television on watching her beloved Angels playing ball on TV. She was a life long Los Angeles resident, but hated, HATED, the Dodgers. I can still hear the play by play coming from the television in her living room. For all of her life, and my brief time in it, her Angels never went to the big show, the World Series. She passed away three years ago, in 2001. The year after she passed away, after turning in the worst start in Major League Baseball, the Anaheim Angels turned their club around, got things going and charged on and into the World Series, where they beat the San Fransisco Giants for all the marbles. Have you ever seen the film 'Angels in the Outfield'? Good. Because that is what happened. It is my firm belief that my grandmother was in the bleachers that year and that World Series, making things happen for her beloved Angels.

Now it's 2004. The Pad's were promising, as were the Cubs. Even the Rangers threatened to do great things this year, spending a good part of the season in first place in their division. After all the cards hit the table, no one I would care to root for was left for post season play. Then came the ALCS.

The Curse is Reversed.

Boston goes down three games to nothing against the Yankees. Nothing new there, but, man, I HATE the Yankees. I'm not a Red Sox fan by any means, but through the course of this AL championship series I came to know all the stars, utility players, dissapointing prospects, and cinderella story players that made up this Red Sox club. I was rooting for them in a distant sort of way. Then came Game 4. From there, there was no turning away. I was there watching the games, or feverishly searching the web for the score to see how they did. How they did was beat the Yankees in seven at Yankee Stadium and go on to the World Series. Woa!

I'm not going to comment on the Series itself but I will add this. The Red Sox never trailed in any inning of any game in their four game sweep of the Cardinals to win the World Series. This little nugget supports my position that the World Series was actually won in game 7 of the ALCS.

Why? When the Sox beat the Yankees, decades and decades of defeatist attitude and resignation to inferiority went 'Woooosh'. Up until then, no matter how well they were doing, when something bad happened in their run to the prize, they could say "welp, we knew it was going to come crashing down sometime." This win over the Yankees eliminated that. Anything was possible, and after shattering that stigma, the Cardinals never had a chance.

You will never find me sporting a Sox ball cap. I am not part of the Red Sox Nation. I am, however, very pleased and very satisfied with this season of the national pastime we call 'baseball'.

Note To Self: carry a notepad.

A thoroughly awesome day yesterday. LBG and I had a blast. Unfortunately, every single funny exchange that took place is lost on both he and I. From now on, I'm carrying a notepad on our weekend outings...

The Tomoe Nage Kid....

As kids living at the home of the original Buffalo Soldiers of the U.S. Cavalry, Ft Huachuca, AZ, Stodgy and I were introduced to Judo. This was a surreal experience. Stodgy and I were runts. Quite possibly the youngest and smallest students in the dojo. As the dojo was so small, seeing as how it was the only one in south eastern Arizona, the students ranged from us lil' guys all the way up to the grown ups, all in the same class, and yes, we all were lumped together for matches, commonsense withstanding. I remember a guy that must've been in his thirties(to a pre-teen kid. that means he must have been 19.), and really, really tall being tossed so hard that during the downward arc of his fall, he punched through a window with his foot. Class Dismissed.

There are a few vivid memories of those classes and that whole experience in general. A tournament in Tucson where I came in third and Stodgy came in second, but we never met in combat for a competition match. What was up with that? A guest, some sensei from the Big City, teaching us how to fight on the ground and on our backs(I've seen Hoyce Grayce demolish a guy on his back with an opponent on top of him grappling, so maybe I should have paid more attention, in retrospect.), and a match where I tossed somebody all around the mat.

This one is vivid, although I couldn't place the opponent in a line-up to this day. He was bigger, and came on trying to put me on my back and finish it. He kept on coming on and I kept putting him over me and whirling around for the pin and match. After I finally did it, the older kids, women and men started spouting off "Hey, that's the Tomoe Nage Kid.."

That's much better a nickname than "Slosh", "Scho", or "Jackass", I think.

Later on, Stodgy and I, as we grew into our early adulthood, became excellent boxers, with weekly bouts between ourselves that were mandated rather than scheduled, and dissipated any sibling animosity that accrued between us. Because of this, then and now we remain the closest of friends.

Tomoe Nage

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

This Just in:

IMDB.COM lists "Family Guy: The Movie" as being "In Production". Can you imagine Stewie on the big screen? ~sniff~ I think I'm having a moment....

Here's the skepticism:

Do you remember the first season of South Park? Hilarious. And the second season? Equally hilarious. Then came the motion picture. It was raunchy. It was uncensored. It was hilarious. It was also a let down. Here is the thing: South Park was more funny for the way Parker and Stone skirted network television censorship. They had to be more creative than when working with MPAA censorship rules. That was the key. The television series was smarter than the motion picture, and thus, funnier.

Family Guy is/was one of the smartest comedies on television. Seth McFarlane is doing the same thing as Parker and Stone. Using his unique and twisted creativity to skirt the television censors and come up with very obtuse comedy. Given freer reign by the MPAA allows him to step into the same pitfall as South Park; to dumb down the writing because he can get easier laughs. I hope this won't be the case.

Whatever the outcome, Stewie for President!

Pure Icing...

Top it off folks. He is full...

Great end to a great day. Raiders of the lost Ark, in original widescreen format, on DVD, of which I've never seen before....


....Truck? What truck?!

Aaahh, much better...

After being, admittedly, thoroughly pissy the day before, I resolved to make this day a good one, whether I liked it or not.

A complicated day at work; one in which you have to throw up your hands because nothing can be done to make it better, ended. I drive home to find LBG in the garage with an arc-welder and welder's mask on going to town like Paulie Jr. on American Chopper. Okay...maybe it was a dremmel tool and a pair of goggles, but it still looked cool. He was making some modifications to Dobra.

We stood in the garage and admired the work, while shooting the shit about bikes and, well, bikes. He then told me he was taking me over to Dallas Honda to finally get it done. Oh, yeah. 'It' was 'I' and 'I' was done. We looked at a bunch, some retro, some sporters, and I fell headlong in love with a gunmetal gray VTX 'C' 1300cc. A cruiser with a sporter look. No clutter. Very sleek. Very low. A 'lady'. Man, oh, man. Love at first sight. I haven't balanced a bike between my legs in fifteen years and this thing just felt like it was set out there for me. Very low with drag, or straight, bars that make you extend in your reach to them without hunching over at the torso. I think I just spasmed in orgasm again. Where is a towel?

That all done and it was back to the place for a much, much needed nap. You ever startle yourself awake thinking it is Monday morning and you look at the window, where it is full daylight out and you think that, oh shit, you wake up during the week when it is not just light out and oh shit you are in some world class trouble this morning, if it is even still morning? Woah. Once the bleariness subsided and I could focus on the clock and gain my bearing, all was good. Next Item: Dinner.

Dinner with LBG was Magiano's at North Park Mall, a sea of aryan geneology. Everyone blonde, built, and looking for a rich husband. Count LBG, wearing a pair of Adidas Inter soccer shorts and a DOOM III shirt, and me, wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a Kevin Smith 'Clerks' Berserker shirt, out of that game. We walk in and head to the bar to order take out when I see 'her'; the cocktail who served us last time.

Me: Hey, lets get a table.
LBG: She's working as cocktail again tonight, right?
Me: Am I that transparent?

If Jamie Luner got pregnant at ten years old, or had a little sister ten years younger, this girl would be her. Woof. After paying for our fare, she gave us a warm goodbye. "Thanks for coming in, again!" Hey, she remembered us. And, AND looked over her shoulder at us as she walked away. If LBG weren't attached and I didn't suffer from chronic-poultry-syndrome (you know. Chicken), one of us would be 'in there'.

Back to the place for dinner and some cinematic ...

OOOH! Stephen King is in the stands for the Boston-St. Louis Game! Sorry for the interruption....

....crack. That which I am becoming addicted to. The Horror Flick. Exorcist III: Legion. I was literally bent over on the edge of the LayZboy with a hand over my mouth for two thirds of the film. I even screamed out the name of the son of the god who I don't even believe in. Woa.

What was planned after was some terrorist hunting on XBox, but in the conversion from DVD player to XBox, the TV displays network play briefly, and I had to scream out "WAIT! Clear and Present Danger! Change it back! Change it back!" So it was a Harrison Ford/Tom Clancy flick next. Sidenote: the F-18 that drops the smart bomb on the Cartel meeting is Stodgy's former squadron's bird, piloted by his former squadron's skipper....

Now I'm full, and pumped full of endorphins that must have been released during my fight-or-flight response to The Exorcist. Time for a nighty-night after an historic day....

Holy CRAP...Belhorn just smacked a two-run Homer in the 8th putting the Sox up 11-9...maybe beddy-bye can wait.....

shopping.

Happiness, thy name is 'VTX 1300'.

Bait and Switch. Again.

I work very hard. My work week is six days long and includes two and sometimes three sixteen hour days. By Friday night I am hashed, and still have a seven o'clock Saturday morning to contend with. Most Fridays are quiet ones. Every so often LBG and I will do dinner on Friday night either at the happy place or down near SMU. Wild night, huh? Even on a Friday night out, it is nothing spectacular or late, and this is intentional, as by Friday evening I am a zombie.

So when Fluffer came to me and told me the band was having a CD release party for being signed to a 'major' record label on Friday night, I told him the same thing I always tell him. No way. I work in the morning, and every time I come out to a show, you guys say on by Eleven and when I come out you guys always end up on after midnight and I get burned. Makes for a Saturday from Hell. He replied that I had to come and to be there by Ten Thirty as they would definately be on by Eleven in the lineup because this was a major event and more structured than usual. I felt guilty and said I'd be there, as they are an outstanding band, going places. They just don't fit into my schedule.

Welp, got burned again. Came down to the Curtain Club in Deep Ellum and Lo and Behold, Fluffer tells me the club changed the lineup and they would now play last. He understood if I left early but I really should stick around for the first song or two in the set. FUCK OFF. I left right then.

Not only did I get burned yet again, I shelled out TEN BUCKS for parking, whatever the cover charge was, I'd say ten there too, Five bucks for one way over priced beer, and to top it off I had to drive down to a semi dangerous area alone and more importantly unarmed, as it's a club district and that's a no-no to go into those places Heavy.

I'm so fucking livid right now I could kick a puppy or a wheelchair-ridden democrat.

I love the smell of Kangaroo leather in the morning. It smells like... like victory.

I am not a religious person. One could describe my spiritual polarity as agnostic, just this side of atheist. I've been this way most of my adult life.

I DO recieve a religious publication that I subscribe to, however. EuroSport. Fabled Soccer Outfitters. It is mostly a catalogue, but also has articles concerning the soccer world and it's players. FF , I'll pass on the newest publication to you via LBG when I'm finished with it.

In perusing this issue, I found something very interesting. While checking through the Adidas section, I found that the Copa Mundial, a molded stud shoe for dryer pitch, and the World Cup, a screw in stud shoe for softer, deeper, damper pitch, are still offered prominently, 89.99 and 124.99 respectively. These two shoes have been worn by more players in more World Cup Tournaments than any other shoe by any other shoe manufacturer.

Here is the interesting part. These shoes were introduced by Adidas as their Flagship models, over twenty five years ago. Today, they are still offered at their original top dollar amounts. Adidas has introduced newer, more high tech shoes, some looking like something from NASA, as it's flagship shoes over the years since, but these two shoes still sell, and more importantly, still command top dollar.

The reason for this is the Kangaroo leather, and their timeless design. These shoes break in at first wearing, and I cannot describe in words your touch on the ball in them. Something like playing barefoot, if your feet were made of Kangaroo leather, of course.

My greatest goal ever was in a pair of Copas. Playing left winger for my Battalion squad against a much loathed Navy squad, I was sprinting down the left side on a run to meet a through-ball one-touched forward by the center-middy. I met the ball in open space five meters outside the penalty area and blasted it one-touch with the outside of my right foot. The ball never rose higher than a foot above the pitch, heading wide of the left goalpost, then curling in just inside the post, beating the keeper, who misjudged it and layed out for it too late.

I still have that pair of Copas, and a pair of World Cup screw-ins. I don't slip them on much any more, but I should. I know this. I also know that if these two pair, ten years old now and still in the same shape, should ever wear out, I can go out and plunk down a bundle for a new pair of the same world class shoe.

It's the little things...

Common Courtesy and Common Sense are not lost.

Lying back and watching game 6 of the ALCS I hear my roomate coming home....from a city block away. Tuesday night is bike night where he meets other scooter owners for dinner served by bikini clad waitresses at Scoot's Double-Double, then on to a bike show in Garland, then a ride in the cool night air.

...So I hear him coming home. I hear the various pitches in sound, all loud, his Bubs with short baffles make as he changes directions at various points to get to the house. I have heard this countless times on Tuesday nights, but never really paid attention. I noticed some thing tonight listening to his run to the garage.

BUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBBUBUBUBUB

~changing directions~ bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub

~changing directions~ BUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUB

~changing directions~ bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub bub


...then I hear the sound get killed. Bike is turned off, I guess. Then and only then do I hear the garage door roll up. I am guessing that he kills the bike, hits the remote for the door, then walks the bike into the garage. The only conclusion I can come to for his doing this is that if he were to actually motor the bike into the garage, he would blow out all the windows on my car and, through vibration, rearrange all the furniture in the living room on the second floor every time he came home. GEE! Isn't that a considerate roomate?! What a swell guy!

Oh, right ON....

Do you believe the 'I believe' hype, or do you believe the 'I believe' stuff is rather unbelievable?

Sorry, had to see how many I could get in there.

Boston wins 4 - 2, forcing a game seven. Wow. No team has ever, EVER won three in a row after going down three in the history of the ALCS. Believe it.

Oh and for the record: Alex Rodriguez is the biggest Ass Clown on the planet.

I'm Intrigued

Right on. Psycho Penguins!

After finishing off Stephen King's Night Shift, which thoroughly scared the piss out of me for two weeks straight, I was looking for some feel good entertainment, so naturally I went to my favorite movie trailer clearing house on the web. It was there that I found this gem. Looks great. I'm soooo digging the penguins....

Madagascar

Corrections and Explanations.

This will be cryptic, as only one pair of people will understand.

A single guy quantifies his thoughts. Direct example:

Most beautiful creature = Most beautiful available creature.

T was absolutely gorgeous. Or as the rational and examining type of mind would say: "Absolutely Gorgeous".

This personal remembrance will give weight to the above mentioned remarks. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away, In an apartment located at Alma and Plano Parkway, I met T. She and her roomie were just buddies with the two occupants of the apartment I visited. My first impression of this woman was "woa...hot...too hot for this kid to even make eye contact with..." which, if T will remember, is exactly what I did.

So there. Welcome back kids. Hope you had a great time on the Yucatan.

Heckler & Koch hits the jackpot.

This is outstanding news, as the world's finest handguns will now be in the hands of those who need them. Sig Sauer is another great handgun manufacturer, but I never really warmed up to their handguns. The FBI did, so what do I know?

Department Of Homeland Security Awards Handgun Contracts

For Immediate Release
Press OfficeContact 202-282-8010
August 24, 2004

The U.S. Department of Homeland Security announced the award of two contracts today for handguns for all organizational elements within the department, including U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement, U.S. Customs and Border Protection, the Transportation Security Administration, the U.S. Coast Guard and the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center.

SIGARMS Incorporated and Heckler & Koch, Incorporated each received a contract award with a maximum quantity of 65,000 pistols that may be purchased over the next five years. SIGARMS Incorporated, a small business located in Exeter, New Hampshire, received a $23.7 million contract for 9 x 19 mm and .40 caliber pistols. Heckler & Koch, a large business located in Sterling, Virginia, received a $26.2 million contract for 9 x 19 mm, .40, and .357 caliber pistols.

The two contracts will enable DHS personnel to acquire handguns in three popular law enforcement calibers and a variety of sizes. These contracts represent the results of the department’s Strategic Sourcing Program that is designed to optimize cross-departmental acquisitions through collaboration of agency technical and acquisition experts. The Weapons and Ammunition Commodity Council, part of the strategic sourcing program, identifies and consolidates emerging firearms and ammunition requirements for all Homeland Security components. As part of this effort, U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) released a Request for Proposals in February 2004 for the procurement of handguns. The ICE National Firearms and Tactical Training Unit led the ensuing evaluation.

“This type of multiple contract award will provide the government the flexibility it needs to enable the DHS entities to address their diverse operational missions, while still maximizing logistical efficiencies found through standardization,” said Thomas Trotto, Director of the ICE National Firearms and Tactical Training Unit.

The technical evaluation of the proposals included a comprehensive handgun test protocol involving a rigorous battery of environmental, reliability, durability, and other tests. Approximately three million rounds of ammunition were fired through 690 handguns of 46 different models during the testing, which took almost four months to complete. Aside from the actual live firing, additional testing was conducted through laboratory analysis and armory inspections. In all, each model was evaluated against more than 50 characteristics before arriving at a technical rating. This data was used in conjunction with past performance and pricing information to select the winning contractors.

The Homeland Security Weapons and Ammunition Commodity Council continues to analyze the department’s requirements for weapons, ammunition, and other officer safety products to identify additional strategic sourcing opportunities.

The contract is for the P2000 , which has no hammer. When a round is chambered, the weapon is cocked internally via the LEM (or law enforcement modification) which keeps it ready and cocked to fire from the holster. No hammer, no spur for catching on clothing, locked and cocked from the get-go. Nice piece and perfectly suited for uniformed and plainclothesed law enforcement application.

My baby is the full sized USP chambered for .45 ACP carrying CorBon +P hollow point ammunition. I know, the caliber is for old-timers, but rule number one for gunfighters is never enter a gunfight with a handgun caliber that doesn't start with a '4'...

All is not lost.

Monday. 22001hrs. Five hours, fourteen innings and Boston wins 5-4. Whew....

Reloading!!!

This Just in, LBG and I are 'Operators'...

Days ago, LBG mentioned the fact that the two of us havent neutralized any terrorists in almost a year. This is true. With our hectic schedules we haven't set aside any time at all over the weekends to fight for freedom and democracy. Upon bringing it up, we both decided to keep Saturday night open completely for this activity.

THE Saturday of Saturdays

The evening started with the viewing of "The Exorcist: The Version You've Never Seen" LBG can't go for more than two weeks without watching me cover my face and scream like a little girl. "GLAH! Holy Crap!"

Then the X Box was fired up. Ghost Recon. Cooperative Play. Split screen Joy. for the next two hours all the neighbors could hear such exclamations as:

"Reloading!"
"Flanking right, check your fire!"
"Getting Flanked on the right, shift your fire!"
"Corner Clear, I'm coming to you. Check your fire!"
"MotherSonOfA"
"~from the XBox~ Victory!"

Sadly, the H&K OICW weapon systems may have been put back in the rack for the night, but on any given Saturday, in locales all around the world, Clime and LBG may be there watching you terrorists skulking around, waiting for you to look the other way so we can tap you in the head and assault the building you are occupying...

Men of Troy

Lucky?

Third straight undefeated opponent. Third straight win. USC 45 - ASU 7. And the newspapermen who called their win against Cal lucky? Must be TCU, or A&M, or UNT proponents or something around here....

This is starting to get old...

I'm gonna shoot me some TV execs

Once again, ABC, my favorite network in the whole world(insert sarcasm here, see: I've Had it), will fail to broadcast the USC-ASU game in favor of another one. I mean, why not? Why broadcast the #1 ranked team in the nation's game in favor of a game featuring two nothing teams like Texas vs. Missouri? Makes sense to me...

This network, I suppose, on the strength of their regular broadcasting, has decided to hire trained orangutans and rhesus monkeys to run their Sports Broadcasting endeavor...

Useless information for you......

You learn something every day. Acetal cured with Teflon resin.... ie. cash cow.

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Self-lubricating(because of the PTFE)
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I'm Intrigued

Long Way Round

Ewan McGregor and Charlie Boorman are traveling from London in the UK to New York City.

Not much for a reality TV show is there? Is there?

They are doing it by traveling East. 20,000 miles. On motorcycles. All documented by and aired on Bravo. The route map looks interesting. UK, France, Belgium, Germany, Czech Republic, Slovakia, Ukraine, Russia, Kazakhstan, Mongolia, Siberia, US(Alaska), Canada, US(contiguous states).

This might be a must see series, as they are doing it completely on 2300cc Triumph Motorcycles. Just Kidding LBG. Making sure you were awake.

They are doing it on 1150cc BMW motorcycles. They look like hybrids.

Check out the series site here .

It's coming very soon so check your listings.

Right On...

The Conan O'brien Show

Parker and Stone were on the show tonight to plug their new movie. Conan asked them about their treatment of Michael Moore in the film. They gave an explanation for their particularly harsh treatment of him. When Moore was filming "Bowling for Columbine" he asked Matt Stone for a filmed interview that Moore would include in the film. As the film maker was from small town Colorado, conservative, and pro-firearm, he hesitated, but agreed to be interviewed, as he was only going to discuss living in small town Littleton, CO. Afterward, Moore asked Parker and Stone if they would do an animated piece for his film. They declined. In "Bowling for Columbine" directly after the Stone Interview there is a Parker and Stone-esque animated parody piece. It is made to look like Parker and Stone produced it for Moore. They most definately did not, and did not appreciate the fact that Moore manipulated the film to make it look like they did. They went on in the interview with Conan to say that they did not respect the way Moore manipulates facts and film to 'create facts or events' that in essence, are absent.

Parker and Stone called Moore a Liar and manipulator of fact on National Prime Time Television. I love it!

Go see Team America: World Police !

Just wondering....

Why haven't the big automakers come up with a brindle colored car?

Bitter, Bitter News

It was with great shock that I read of Ken Caminiti's death today. He was a Padre's Padre when he played for San Diego, despite his off-field controversies. Reading of his exploits took me straight back to 1998, when it was our year.

Ken Caminiti . Dead at 41.

Oh, Right ON. I'm So There.

Anyone who knows me knows of my penchant for big band. This is an almost religious moment for me. Lions Gate Films is distributing a film Starring Kevin Spacey as Bobby Darin. Call me irresponsible, baby. Beyond the Sea

Mackie's back in town. Woohoo!

One Great Time.

Another One Bites the Dust

Linus ' wedding was a complete success, both for the couple and for this kid, who was dragged kicking and screaming going into the evening.

I rolled up with two friends and we met the groom outside the venue and chatted while photographs were taken of the afternoon's previously scheduled wedding party. Linus was not in the least bit nervous, and wasn't liquored up either, as I suspected was the reason for his coolness. The hour struck and we all went to the site of the ceremoney and took our places.

The ceremony was held, for all intents and purposes, over the water and outdoors. I'd say maybe 30 to 45 people attended the ceremony, so it was very intimate.

And quick. Did I mention Quick? The ceremony was conducted in, I'd say, no more than twenty minutes. They must have had my comfort in mind. Short, Sweet, and very Classy.

The reception was a blast. Dinner was tasty, the cake cutting and toasts conducted with dignity and style, and dancing was nice too. Mingling was kind of tentative, as I suspected that since Rafiki and I hung together for most of the evening, and we were both absolutely stunningly dressed, we intimidated all the single female guests. They must have been too frightened to come over and flirt. Insert chuckle here.

The bouquet tossing wasn't a cage match, which is always a good thing, because a good bouquet tossing should never include a trip to the trauma center. What was really funny was the garter toss. Linus flexed the garter with one hand aiming over his shoulder and the other pulling back. As he randomly changed his aim, the single men kept shuffling out of the way or grabbing a neighbor by the collar and shoving them between themselves and the aimed garter. Wait a minute. Was that just me? Nope. They all did this....

The music was slow dance friendly, mixed in with some faster stuff. For those of you who don't know Linus, he is a Pulp Fiction Fanatic. So when a lot of tunes used in the soundtrack came on for the dance floor, I knew he had his say in this matter. When the Chuck Berry song used in the Thurman/Travolta twist contest came on over the sound system. Linus and I were out there in a flash, twising away with the rest of the group. Since the Best Man was a fellow Parrothead, Some Buffett was thrown in too.

The kicker, and the highlight of the whole evening occurred while I was walking back to the ballroom after a visit to the restroom. I heard the intro to Summer Wind by Frank Sinatra being played. I sprinted back to the ball room, grabbed the hand of the most beautiful girl at the reception, and headed to the dance floor, where I danced to one of my favorite songs of all time with an absolutely gorgeous creature. That probably won't happen again in this kid's lifetime.

All in all, it was the kind of evening that gives you the same afterglow of a week of vacation. A total release, as well as a joyous evening. Linus. You and the Missus done alright...

Just wait till I can get my thoughts together, already...

I'll give you a run down on the big shindig, and it was small, cozy, comfortable, but definately epic. It was like my first time jumping out of a Helo into the Pacific Ocean for a swim to shore. Sensory Overload. I'll just go to sleep happy, collect my thoughts and give a play by play in the days ahead....

Panties: Prepare to Drop

Papa's Got a Brand New Bag (Or suit, that is.)

My industry has gone the way of most of corporate America, in that working attire is business casual. My field of endevour rarely requires me to go any more formal than khakis and a polo, and most of the time I get away with denim. Because of this, I rarely need to purchase suits or sport coats. The ones I own are just fine.

Or were, before some fiendish moth turned them all into a schmorgasbord. With a week till my former boss' Wedding I had to hustle. After three and a half hours, Viola! This thing belongs, as do I in it, on a magazine cover. Man o Man, did I shoot almost a barrel on this outfit (that's billiard term for a betting amount, you figure it out). I think it was worth every penny. Bring on the chickas....

Now I gotta steal LBG 's digital camera and get this thing posted...

Woa!

Television is the great sensory crack-pipe.

For those of you who guiltily watch Nip/Tuck like this junkie, I have one thing to say.

"She's a Man, baby!!!"

This some of the most original story writing I've seen in years....

Fourth Sign of the Apocalypse

Seen on TV:

An orange tabby cat with water-wings(or floaties) on forelegs and swim goggles over eyes singing the Meow-Mix tune..... Do you realize what this does to people who regularly ingest Lycergic Acid? I pity them. I really do....

The Right Stuff

Ansari X Prize

The Ansari X Prize has been awarded. The competition was devised by two Plano, TX Entrepeneurs. The prize was a cool ten mil. The cost of the project that won it? Between twenty and thirty mil.

I know what you are thinking and you are probably right..

Before turning in for the night before a day in hell, I completely forgot the most important of the day's revelations:

Upon doing an Amazon search, just for kicks, as I was hoping that Amazon would give out a release date for the best TV series of all time, I found that Magnum P.I. Season One has been already been released on DVD. Doh!

The kicker: It was released on my birthday. Now that's a sure fire way to suck me in and pay top dollar for the box, as this release was meant solely for me...

"You are what happens to you, and at the end of the day, that's all you've got."

After a very close scrutiny of the web clips of Michael Madsen, who I have a man-crush on, I discovered we have the very same hair-line. It is quite conceivable that I will grow my hair out to his style, start wearing black suits a-la Vengeance Unltd and Reservior Dogs style, and start wearing the same cowboy boots he wore in Reservoir/Vengeance/Kill Bill with a straight razor in the right one.

Call me irresponsible, call me unreliable, throw in undependable too....
Do my foolish alibis bore you?
Well I'm not to clever, I just adore you.

Call me unpredictable, tell me I'm impractical, rainbows I'm inclined to pursue.
Call me irresponsible, yes, I'm unreliable, but it's undeniably true....

That I'm irresponsibly mad for you........

Save the Whales. Drive to Rosarito, Baja California for your vacation.

Sheesh!

A Whale of a story.

I guess it's like a St. Bernard vs. a Jack Russell Terrier. Dolphins play in the bow wake of ships all the time, whereas whales just get run down by them. According to the MSNBC news article, this happens all the time.

Why Boys are Different than Girls, Even at Thirty

You're Kidding Me, Right?

Linus' wedding is looming, and I lamented to him that I would have to go to Macy's or Brooks Brothers or something to get a presentable suit, or maybe at least a Blazer, as sometime in the last three years, a despicable moth had turned both of mine into an all-you-can-eat Buffet. His reaction?

Linus: Why don't you go in your signature look?
Clime: A Hawaiian shirt, khaki shorts and flip flops?!
Linus: Sure! That would be Golden!

At this point I'm actually considering it. I would go for dressy, though. Magnum P.I. style. A 'Real' Hawaiian shirt(black, red, or dark blue with just a flower pattern) with khaki trousers.

Clime: Hehehehehe Naw, your kidding, right?
Linus: Hehehehehe Actually, no I'm not.

Then, after a shared laugh, I came to my senses. If I were to show up and sit down in that, his Fiance' would pull out a Ghurka knife and cleave my head from my shoulders.

Which leads me to an observation on our society. Why is a couple's wedding day "HER DAY"? In the two weddings I've attended, the bride nearly broke down sobbing in private because some minor mishap "Is going to ruin MY DAY." That's about the selfishest crap I've ever heard. In a traditional course of events, the Groom initially proposes, then all planning and execution is undertaken by the Bride and cohorts(did I say cohorts? I meant Mother, Sisters, etc.) Um. Isn't it supposed to be a 'union'? Two as one? "Their Day"?

Then I remember the aforementioned conversation with the "Groom", and think to myself "Woa....maybe we Better leave it to them. We'd have the ceremony at Hooters with Mike Ditka performing the Nuptuals and the reception being held on-site..... "

Six Degrees of Separation

Here's a stumper.

A few coworkers and I keep ourselves amused by playing six degrees of separation between film actors. You throw out two actors and try to link them to each other through their films. Here was one posed to me a while back. It's a Doosy.

John Wayne to Macaulay Culken

You gotta really think about this one....

A Truly Religious Moment

One Legend Meets another.

This is a truly religious moment. The Duke meets the D.I.

Senior Drill Instructor Gunnery Sergeant Hartman USMC meets Lt. Col. Benjamin Vandervoort USA. If those of you inclined to do so, perform a search on IMDB for The Longest Day, you will find that the film was so star studded, that John Wayne, in IMDB's listing, didn't even get primary billing.

I guess the Duke wasn't fickle about billing, as he had already garnered an Academy Award for his portrayal of Sgt. Stryker USMC in Sands of Iwo Jima thirteen years earlier.

Here is the Coors Light Commercial in which, by means of that computer stuff the egg heads say will end up pressing our clothes and changing our infant's diapers, the two legends, in this kid's mind, come together...

Play it again, Sam....

"Exactly just what kind of man is Captain Renault?"
"Just like every other man, only more so..."

Casablanca was aired this fine, rainy, blowy evening. It doesn't get any better than this(unless you count viewing it next to Diane Farr, who is only humoring you till it's over and she can have Barnum and Bailey center ring type sex afterward.)

Authenticity

Please note that this film was released in 1942 and shot in 1941. In a tension building scene taking place inside Rick's Cafe Americain' , German soldiers break out, rather boisterously, into a german drinking song. The French stage entertainers counter by starting to sing La Marseillaise, the French National Anthem, and all the French patrons join in, drowning out the Germans. The camera focuses singly on several of the French singers, and they are singing with all heart and soul, tears streaming down their faces. Great acting, huh? Nope. Those actors happened to be displaced or expatriated French, and every tear was real. Not even the director of the film anticipated this reaction to be captured on film.

Man. I could take over for that Introduction Guy on American Movie Classics Channel.....

Hell Ticket: Punched. Express Train.

On taking 60x120" plates of .750in High Density Polyeurathane (HDPE) out of a storage rack:

Me: Hey, look at all the dust. It formed a picture. See? Looks like a Cockatiel. Fins up!

Jeff: Look at it thisaway. Now it looks like Christ's head.

Josh: Just great. Now our branch will be innundated with pilgrims. You guys call the newspapers and I'll get you fired.

Me: Well, it can't go to the customer like that. Go get me the denatured alcohol. (wiping the plate down.) There. Now like Pilate, I've gotta wash my hands and seal my fate...

Yep. A Parrothead, a Biblical, and a Rolling Stones reference all in the same conversation. We are all going to hell. Got my crew all on the same page...