Quirks of Married life: Not just stereotypes.
Can Some One Tell me...
...Why newly married people feel the compulsion to make all their single friends and associates married too?
JW, my counterpart, and the operations manager at work, is a great guy. But for the first six months or so that we worked together, it was all business; very polite to each other, a lot of tact used in solving mutual problems, a lot of small talk. Then the trashtalk came, polite at first, then increasingly bold. Then, in the course of our interaction at work some humor came out. You know, the test humor you use to see what a person's threshold is, somewhat risky but not outrageous. Then that gradually increases in outrageousness till you are comfortable telling a certain range of jokes. It's the natural course of work interaction. Of course I can't go up to a guy like this, newly married with a newborn child and tell my brand of joke. "What's the best thing about having sex with an eight year old girl? You can flip her over and you have an eight year old boy!" See? I have common sense. But long story short, we have a friendly working relationship.
A couple of months ago we had our first out of the workplace social interaction. He, myself, and our Austin Territory outside sales account manager met and shot pool after work. Well, they got there first and got a billiard table and the beers shuttling over to the adjoining high table. When I walked in, it being a poolhall and a source of beer, I went from 'Mr. Scho' to 'Scho'. I'm walking over to the table and my head is on a swivel, Hot chick there, there, lemme crane my neck here..and there, there, and......there. I make my usual comments about the talent in the place. JW notices this and after we all get to know each other a bit socially, he goes "Soooo, you think that one over there is some talent, huh? Let me walk over there and set you up for the introduction..." Nooooooooooo! I'm shooting pool over here! JW tried to set me up with every little chicken in the place. This goes to prove that A.) He wants to get all the single employees involved and eventually married, and B.) After a year of marriage, he is now trying to live the single life again vicariously through me. ....And since I'M THE ONLY FREAKING SINGLE GUY IN THE WHOLE BUILDING AT WORK, I guess I'm his pet project. Yeah, and if I did work the ladies at the place, and one happened to have an obnoxious/homely/extremely drunk friend, would he be my Wingman? nooOOOOooo.... he's married. Thanks pal.
So we had a CPI and an outside audit today. I was paired up with an outside auditor for most of the day and the day was Loong. Very early in the morning till very late at night. People started folding tents and going home one by one, the hourly's at first, then some Mgmt, till it was Me, JW and this auditor wrapping up... This chick was anal, and much of the cause of the late day and long audit. She went through EVERYTHING. So at about eight, when I knew she was down to the 'close my laptop and start throwing shit in my bags' stage, I told JW I was pulling chocks and taking off. Now to preface this next item, I will say that this chick was okay to better than okay, but I have been at odds with this girl for NINE hours doing this audit. So I'm almost to the front door when I hear from around the corner and behind me on the other side of all the cubes "Yeah, he's a really good guy. I can give you his number if you want."
~best scared terrier impression~ AARRR AARRR AARRR AARRR! , right out the door and a world landspeed record to the car. Sheesh!
JW is a great guy, but some people are single for a reason. I can hear the diaper stories and the cutesy married stuff and live the married life vicariously through them. That's good enough. Marriage is for the other guy. Salud!
...Why newly married people feel the compulsion to make all their single friends and associates married too?
JW, my counterpart, and the operations manager at work, is a great guy. But for the first six months or so that we worked together, it was all business; very polite to each other, a lot of tact used in solving mutual problems, a lot of small talk. Then the trashtalk came, polite at first, then increasingly bold. Then, in the course of our interaction at work some humor came out. You know, the test humor you use to see what a person's threshold is, somewhat risky but not outrageous. Then that gradually increases in outrageousness till you are comfortable telling a certain range of jokes. It's the natural course of work interaction. Of course I can't go up to a guy like this, newly married with a newborn child and tell my brand of joke. "What's the best thing about having sex with an eight year old girl? You can flip her over and you have an eight year old boy!" See? I have common sense. But long story short, we have a friendly working relationship.
A couple of months ago we had our first out of the workplace social interaction. He, myself, and our Austin Territory outside sales account manager met and shot pool after work. Well, they got there first and got a billiard table and the beers shuttling over to the adjoining high table. When I walked in, it being a poolhall and a source of beer, I went from 'Mr. Scho' to 'Scho'. I'm walking over to the table and my head is on a swivel, Hot chick there, there, lemme crane my neck here..and there, there, and......there. I make my usual comments about the talent in the place. JW notices this and after we all get to know each other a bit socially, he goes "Soooo, you think that one over there is some talent, huh? Let me walk over there and set you up for the introduction..." Nooooooooooo! I'm shooting pool over here! JW tried to set me up with every little chicken in the place. This goes to prove that A.) He wants to get all the single employees involved and eventually married, and B.) After a year of marriage, he is now trying to live the single life again vicariously through me. ....And since I'M THE ONLY FREAKING SINGLE GUY IN THE WHOLE BUILDING AT WORK, I guess I'm his pet project. Yeah, and if I did work the ladies at the place, and one happened to have an obnoxious/homely/extremely drunk friend, would he be my Wingman? nooOOOOooo.... he's married. Thanks pal.
So we had a CPI and an outside audit today. I was paired up with an outside auditor for most of the day and the day was Loong. Very early in the morning till very late at night. People started folding tents and going home one by one, the hourly's at first, then some Mgmt, till it was Me, JW and this auditor wrapping up... This chick was anal, and much of the cause of the late day and long audit. She went through EVERYTHING. So at about eight, when I knew she was down to the 'close my laptop and start throwing shit in my bags' stage, I told JW I was pulling chocks and taking off. Now to preface this next item, I will say that this chick was okay to better than okay, but I have been at odds with this girl for NINE hours doing this audit. So I'm almost to the front door when I hear from around the corner and behind me on the other side of all the cubes "Yeah, he's a really good guy. I can give you his number if you want."
~best scared terrier impression~ AARRR AARRR AARRR AARRR! , right out the door and a world landspeed record to the car. Sheesh!
JW is a great guy, but some people are single for a reason. I can hear the diaper stories and the cutesy married stuff and live the married life vicariously through them. That's good enough. Marriage is for the other guy. Salud!
1 Comments:
Nah. After an 0-6 run, I'm designating myself the pitching coach, and having a ball at it nonetheless...
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