Monday, November 29, 2004

This just in:

AMC is running a new series Wednesday nights at 2200hrs. Film Fakers. Why is this cool, other than the concept? A regular cast member happens to be Jeremy Schwartz.

So? Who is this clown? You ask. I'll tell you. He hopped tables with LBG, Stodgy, and I at Bay Street Restaurant twelve years ago and we all were the best of friends. He was an actor even then, with the Pegasus Theater Co. in Deep Ellum at the time, and Heidi, my girl at the time, and I caught all his shows. He was a genius, even then.

There was one time in the restaurant where he even got old Clime into an impromptu performance, and I must say I did hang with him. Here is the setup: It was a weekday lunch shift and Jeremy and I had adjoining wait stations. The hostess seated a pair of muscleheads in workout gear at one of his tables, then had a quiet conversation with Jeremy. Jeremy came over to me and told me that these two clowns had previously walked out of the restaurant across the street from ours because the host that tried to seat them there happened to be gay. The Host was also a very cordial aquaintance of all of the staff at our restaurant. The service industry is a tight one. We couldn't resist. Enter Jeremy and Clime, stage left. We proceeded to the waitstand opposite these two clown's table and got into a tiff over some sidework; filling salt shakers or rolling silverware or something. It then escalated and snowballed into a heated, screaming lover's spat between the two of us. The two chimps promptly got up and left.

I surely hope this regular gig on Television turns into great things for the guy. If you have the patience for surfing web content, you can see his work on Kontraband. Look for the Fed Ex ad on this page titled Fed Ex/Castaway. It debuted as a blue-chip ad during the 2002 SuperBowl.

This is just too good...

Yep, all wound up from the evening and not sleepy yet.

Okay, this is what I'm talking about, when I say the film was for adults. This is sort of a spoiler, so I'm not going to set up the quote beforehand, so as to not completely ruin the film for those of you who actually read my stuff. Remember, this is a Disney film, which makes it even funnier:

Syndrome Guards: [opening liquor while watching city-wide pandemonium on the command post monitors] "Okay, okay - every time they run, we do a shot!"

I'm still chuckling. G'night.

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Incredible Dinner, Incredible Movie, Incredible Evening.

Three times 'a charm.

I went out with 'her' for dinner at Mac Grill and then to a movie. You know us jarheads. Keep it simple. If ya got yer boots you can walk into combat...

Dinner was exceptional. The restaurant chefs have been experimenting with this baked spaghetti dish topped with Italian Sausage and scala beef. They have served it two thousand times since they started offering it to the guests....Four Days ago, in this area. It was dreamy.

Then to the theater to watch The Incredibles. It was....Incredible! Awesome! Two Thumbs up! Five Stars! It was a superhero movie, a comic book, a bond film, and a family sitcom all rolled into one. It was definately NOT a movie for kids. Not to say that kids wouldn't enjoy it, but it was definately produced for adults. E and I had a blast. Any movie with Samuel Jackson in the cast and Jason Lee as the arch villain has to be a keeper. I will have to start crossing off the days till it comes out on DVD.

All in all, it was a very succesful evening. LBG, Go see this movie with Stace. G'night all....

Merry Christmas, Uri Andreyvich...

Dr. Zhivago is getting a run this weekend on AMC.

This from the director of Bridge over River Kwai and Lawrence of Arabia. The format of the film is even the same as Lawrence. Overture and Intermission included.

How can you resist a film with Omar Sharif, Rod Steiger, Roddy MacDowell, Julie Christie, and my favorite character in the film, Sir Alec Guinness. It is an epic, so if you put it on your netflix list, please set aside an entire evening for it. We are talking an Entire evening....

Saturday, November 27, 2004

I'm am not gloating. Proof:

On any other day, against any other opponent, I would be a rabid ND supporter. They, like Penn State, are one of my open favorite football teams. No recruiting scandals for either, no off-field player scandals(See Nebraska and it's most talented group of robbers and rapists.). Check into their athlete graduation rate, too. They define STUDENT-Athlete.

A rivalry is a rivalry, however, and I am pleased with the result, and more pleased with the decision to take Leinart off the field for sportsmanship's sake. That keeps SC in the 'Class' category of teams I enjoy supporting:

Navy
Army
USC
Notre Dame
Penn State
Michigan

Here's to you, Fighting Irish.

Cheer, cheer for Old Notre Dame,
Wake up the echoes cheering her name,
Send a volley cheer on high,
Shake down the thunder from the sky!
What though the odds be great or small,
Old Notre Dame will win over all,
While her loyal sons are marching,
Onward to victory!

USC 41 Notre Dame 10

Fight On for ol' SC
Our men Fight On to victory
Our Alma Mater dear,looks up to you
Fight On and win
For ol' SC
Fight On to victory
Fight On!

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Addendum

Shit. Band of Brothers on the History Channel. I guess I just won't be getting much sleep tonight. What falls out of the sky? Trouble.

Holiday Week: Various Happenings.

Shit. Dave?!

Wednesday, 1400 hrs: The branch manager and I kick everyone loose for the holiday.

Wednesday, 1410 hrs: The branch manager gets a phonecall from Fullerton saying that 'Dave' and a VP will be coming out to the facility. Who's this 'Dave' character, I ask? Oh, he's the CEO. Shit. My boss and I are there till almost 2200hrs making preparations. Shit.

He gets a phonecall from his wife at 2000hrs checking on his progress. The conversation goes like this:

Yeah, we will be here a while.
Yeah, Clime is here with me. He doesn't care. He's got nothing to do tonight.
He's single.
Lemme ask him.


He turns to me.

Why AREN'T you married yet?

He turns back to his phonecall.

Yeah, I'll work on that...

Sheesh. Now I'm his 'pet project' too...

So we wrap up and walk out. Before exiting, he tells me to grab a bottle of Tabasco from the staff kitchen. Err? We go over to his truck, where he has a case of 100 oysters in the bed on ice, for making oyster stuffing tomorrow. Uh-oh. He's got a shucking knife in his back pocket. "You ever had an oyster?" "Nope." "You afraid?" "Nope." Yep. We stand out at his truck shucking a dozen oysters between us and sucking them down. I'll say this, and it will be crude: To all the females in my life who "Swallowed", I truly appreciate you...

Thanksgiving

Man I'm in a hurt-locker. Dinner out at the folk's place. Always a great time. I hurt myself eating the meal itself, then had a monster turkey sandwich for dessert an hour later. Precisely two minutes after that, we get a phonecall from their neighbors to come over for dessert. They were serving this pumpkin cobbler type thingy. The wife HEAPED a helping onto my plate. Uh-oh. I wonder if I can excuse myself to their head and force vomit before I attempt to eat again? Nope. Gotta be polite and eat it all like a man... It was fantastic, but my body is a' screaming...

Pops and I picked up 'Gus', my niece, for the affair. She is now as tall as me. And a freshman. And Dating. Yep. Corbon Hollow-points in the .45 from here 'till she gets married. She always digs it when I'm there at the folk's place when she comes over. I can 'relate', I guess. For the previous five years I worked around nothing but teens and speak their 'lingo', I guess. When a thirty-something Uncle can carry a conversation about 'Gilmore Girls' with teen niece and her visiting friends, I guess that lands the 'cool' label on him... that or gay. Shit.

LBG's World meets Clime's World.

LBG 's Icons, the Teutel's of American Chopper fame are on TV tonight. No, not the American Chopper marathon showing on Discovery Channel, but playing Hold 'Em Poker on the World Poker Tour. They played pretty fair for amateurs, I must say. I saw some flaws in betting decisions and some "What were you thinking?!" laydowns, but their cardplay decisions were sound. I guess steel fabrication guys probably have sat at a poker table before. On a side note, The Main Street Liquid Co. has Hold 'Em Tourneys on Wednesday evenings, so now I gotta come up with a string of ailments to use as excuses for not showing up at Big Buy for my one evening a week there....

Rounding out the evening.

Feel the rhythm, feel the ride, come on now, it's bobsled time! Cool Runnings is on. I love the underdog movie. Rocky, Rudy, VisionQuest, Mystery, Alaska, Miracle, Mean Machine, the movie of my life, etc. That and any film with the Godfather of Reggae, Jimmy Cliff, in the soundtrack gets a couple of extra stars on my scale...


Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Tonight We Ride.

Via Con Estilo y Flair, mi compadre, Bob. You will be missed.

Pancho Villa crossed the border in the year of ought sixteen.
The people of Columbus still hear him riding through their dreams.
He killed seventeen civilians, you could hear the women scream.
Blackjack Pershing, on a dancing horse, was waiting in the wings.

Tonight we ride, tonight we ride.

We'll skin 'ole Pancho Villa, make chaps out of his hide.
Shoot his horse, Siete Leguas, and his twenty-seven brides.

Tonight we ride, tonight we ride.

We rode for three long years till Blackjack Pershing called it quits.
When Jackie wasn't lookin', I stole his fine spade bit.
It was tied upon his stallion, so I rode away on it.
To the wild Chihuahuan desert, so dry you couldn't spit.
Tonight we ride, you bastards dear.
We'll kill the wild Apache for the bounty on his hair.
Then we'll ride into Durango, climb up the whorehouse stairs.

Tonight we ride, Tonight we ride.

When I'm too damn old to sit a horse, I'll steal the warden's car.
Break my ass out of this prison, leave my teeth there in a jar.
You don't need no teeth for kissin' gals or smokin' cheap cigars.
I'll sleep with one eye open, 'neath God's celestial stars.

Tonight we rock, Tonight we roll.

We'll rob the Juarez liquor store for the Reposado Gold.
And if we drink ourselves to death, ain't that the cowboy way to go?

Tonight we ride, tonight we ride.

Tonight we fly, we're headin' west.
Toward the mountains and the ocean where the eagle makes his nest.
If our bones bleach on the desert, we'll consider we are blessed.

Tonight we ride, tonight we ride.
Tonight we ride, tonight we ride.

-- Tom Russell El Paso, Texas 2004

Monday, November 22, 2004

Ready on the right? Ready. Ready on the left? Ready. The line is ready...

After an evening that made me thoroughly livid last night, and a rather rough workday today, I cut out an hour early to get some range time. Haven't been to the range in almost a year. Let me tell you, nothing says "Feel better, now, kiddo?" like the smell of cordite...

"I once did a dude in Laos. Thousand meters out, high wind. Maybe eight, ten guys in the world could make that shot. It was the only thing I was ever any good at..."

Years and years on the range have made putting steel jacketed lead into the 'X' ring second nature, almost an automated thing. This is not rare, as every man in my family is a natural at it. I even had a great uncle who was an Olympic shooter.

So I'm on the range, doing my thing, and the same thing happens as every other time I'm there. I see silhouettes of people leaning in the observation window watching. The range employees, watching me doing my thing. Some of the other shooters on other target points step away from their target lanes and lean around to look at my targets periodically.

What I love is looking at the other shooters, in uber-rich yuppie Plano, TX, with their expensive firearms and all the trappings, putting groups of shots down range that look like shotgun blasts. The most expensive equipment may get you a better golf score, but it gets you embarrassed on the range, there, Jackson...

So there was a guy on the target point two down from mine who was doing pretty decently, but this guy was cocky. He would bring his target forward to check his groups, but he wouldn't bring the target all the way forward into the partition area; rather, he would leave it out about two feet so all the other shooters could see his work. Schmuck. That was the time for me to pull my signature punk-out. I fed a filled magazine into the H&K, stood back away from my target point so all the shooters could see me without being blocked off by the partitions, turned perpendicular to the target(or as they say in Tejas "Side-a-ways".), slouched, put my left hand in my pants pocket, raised the .45 singlehanded, and started putting rounds into the X ring. Keyholes even. Hehehehehe Oh, a minute ago it was like a pistol range up in this motherfucker...now it's as quiet as a church. Nice try, Gomer.....

I feel so much better now....Thank you Mr. Heckler. Thank you Mr. Koch. You made my day.....

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Not to be, ell bee gee. No show. Should've stayed at main street liquid club talking about bikes....

Oh, my God, it's early

0600hrs and I look like a wolf

I crashed at very close to 2000hrs yesterday. Which means my sorry ass is up at 0600. Upon looking at myself in the mirror, I determined that I look like Paccino in Serpico. Man has it been a long month. To not drag a razor across my mug for that long is a cardinal sin. I would drive up to the folks' place and borrow their hedge trimmer, but I don't want to wake LBG up with the garage door going up and down.

Do you like Huey Lewis and the News?

Had to get an 'American Psycho' reference in there. The last song on the radio playing, as I pulled up to the house yesterday evening, on KJJK 100.3, was a blast from the past. Huey Lewis and the News doing 'Walking on a Thin Line'. Lewis played the Gypsy Tea Room here in Dallas not two months ago and I am severely dissapointed with myself for not going out and seeing the show. Any act that makes it's way into the screenplay of my most favorite twisted, demented, and smart movie deserves my dollars to see the show, and I let them down. Sorry Guys. I'll go and buy all your CD's today...

...now to take a pair of sheep-shears to my chia-pet face while my bootleg download of my favorite Huey Lewis song is playing...

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Aaahh, much better...

Day From Hell

I had to be at work today at 'big buy' , for my one day a week there, at 0630 and work till the evening. What's the 'oh' stand for? 'Oh, my god, it's early!' What a long day. The only positive was that, on walking out, I fell in step with 'her' in the parking lot and asked her out for tomorrow evening. I guess I was just exhausted and told myself 'meh, fuck it. do it.' I guess rolling the dice while on an empty tank works...

Aww hell. Hold up there, Cochise...

All I wanted to do was collapse on my bed upon coming home, but I guess AMC execs read my last post. John Wayne's 'El Dorado' is airing. Robert Mitchum, The Duke, and James Caan.... I'm in Cowboy Heaven...


Friday, November 19, 2004

Can't help it.

Everyone does it.

Everyone has two categories of movies with 'Favorite' status.

The first category is very small. It is those movies that are so pentultimately loved, that if one, while surfing television came across it, would change the channel quickly to something else or go get the DVD and play it to see the film in it's uncut, uncensored awesomeness. ie. Raiders of the Lost Ark.

The second category is much larger. It is the movie that is a favorite film, but not a supreme favorite. This is the category of movie that, when one stumbles across it on television, one cannot turn it off. You can even be surfing channels with the intention of getting to and watching something you planned to watch, see this kind of movie, and you are stuck there. No changing channels after that...

What's on now:

Red Dawn

Can't help it. It is flawed. It is stereotypical. It is technically innacurate. It is a great film. And it is on now. Something about Leah Thompson and Jennifer Gray operating a crew-served machine gun... There goes my Friday night....

Other Class B Favorites:

Major League (Top of this list)
Necessary Roughness
Blazing Saddles (Just Kidding. It belongs in the A category)
The Dirty Dozen
Lethal Weapon 1,2,4
Men at Work
Rudy
Rocky
The Great Escape
The Magnificent Seven
Gigli (Just seeing if you were paying attention...)
Any Kevin Smith work
Any John Wayne Movie
Any Clint Eastwood Movie
Any Tom Clancy Movie (Other than sum of all fears)
...and much much more...

I like movies. I have a photographic long term memory and a shaky short term one, so I'm pretty much a movie quote database. Same with songs and artists. I should have been a film critic, or a DJ.......


My Kind of People

The Setup:

Two of the guys were discussing one guy's brother getting a divorce. Apparently, the brother caught his wife red-handed cheating on him. He asked for a divorce right then.

Overheard:

"If my wife did that to me, I'd eat her. I'm serious. I would make a soup out of her. The cops would find nothing."

These are my kind of employees....

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Long Way Round

First Impression

I had the highly pleasureable opportunity to kick back and watch my first episode of Long Way Round, with Ewan MacGregor. It is a 'reality' mini-series on BRAVO that chronicles MacGregor and his best friend on a motorcycle trek East from London to New York City. They are in Khazkstan in this installment. I am completely sucked in. I have always been the type of person to act like a four year old child upon meeting someone from a different culture. "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "What is that?" "What is that?" "What is that?" This series is Awesome. Now to either win the lotto, or take down a U.S. Federal Reserve, with Linus and Fluffer's support, and I'm holding you to it; Fluffer on transportation and crowd control, Linus as trigger man - he's as good a shot as me, and LBG responsible for R&D; with the take I can make a trek like this myself...

Tell it Like it is.

Wow.

Unless it is something really, really good, I don't publish other author's remarks, but this is way too good. I was and am a moderately conservative republican, and kept my opinions to myself in regards to the presidential election of 2004. I am much more middle of the road on some moral issues than the religious right, but am right there on foreign policy and economics. This gentleman hit on all the points about the campaign, usually in regards to the U.S. Military, Foreign Policy, our U.S. Military's WarFighting in the pursuit thereof, and the Media and Hollywood, that just stuck in my craw. Enjoy.

PARDON ME WHILE I GLOAT

by Dick Van Orden, RADM, USN, Ret.

I am not normally a cheerful loser or a gracious winner. Whether its tiddly-winks or war at sea, I want to win, win, win! In fact, I hate to lose and when I win I sometimes want to rub the loser's nose in his defeat. After a sleepless night I feel just rotten enough that the past six months of lies and innuendos from the Kerry camp have it all come home to make me more vindictive than usual. As a result, I want to gloat. Here's why: I am happy that the sound common sense of a majority of America's voters resulted in a solid victory for a true patriot-and in the humiliating defeat of a lying traitor. There was no doubt in my mind that Bush's truthfulness and forthrightness would prevail against the lies and half-truths of Kerry and his supporters, and I am pleased that a majority of good folks saw the light and pushed the Bush/ Cheney button for justice and for increasing support for the nation's bright future.

I am pleased that the left-leaning media-newspapers, radio, TV and newsmagazines got their bell rung, but good. Now we are assured that these self-appointed "opinion makers" cannot pull the wool over the eyes of most of us, no matter how hard they twist the facts. Their early reporting of the "leaked" fraudulent exit polls, and their sponsorship of other badly skewed voter polls were designed to mislead voters, in which they failed-miserably. And Dan Rather deserves a special place in hell.

I am delighted that the fat, disgusting a-hole, Michael Moore did not achieve the success that he wished for and that he was repulsed by so many intelligent Americans. May his soul burn in hell.

I hope the Hollywood friends of Michael Moore-especially Barbara Streisand,Whoopi Goldberg, P-Diddler, and their friends-are roasting in the hell of their own making. It seems to me that they all offered to depart the U.S. if Bush won the first time, which they did not do. The time is now doubly ripe for their exit.

I am blissful that all the treasure and invective of George Soros devoted to defeating George Bush went for naught. I only wish for a financial future of similar poor decisions by Soros; I want to see him as bankrupt in bank account as he is in patriotism.

I find it particularly satisfying that the high ranking military suck-ups whose lack of integrity led them to desert their commander-in-chief and follow a lying cheat, even though they knew, or should have known, that his dismissal from the Navy was "less than honorable," as detailed in the military record that he refused to release. It is sad that such Navy types as Bill Crowe, Stan Turner, and even Jimmy Carter would be in that group. It is obvious that their motivation was the hope of a cushy job when their new-found knight in shining armor moved into the White House. Even their strategy was flawed, for Kerry is, and always has been, anti-military; he only used his military service - and those military "advisors" - for personal political gain. He would never have offered that cushy job, once he had used them, just as he never voted for the needed armament that they and their shipmates and their Marine Corps, Army, and Air Force brothers-in-arms needed so badly.

I am thrilled that the whiners who have complained bitterly about the"stolen" 2000 Presidential election must leave that fallacy in the past and now try to find something else to whine about - maybe they can even develop a fantasy that the four million vote plurality was a miscount, and continue their whining as they slink away into their caves.

It pleases me that Kofi Annan and the other United Nations sycophants failed miserably when they tried so hard to influence this election to ensure that a more pliable President Kerry would be elected. I hope they will now realize that either they clean up the bureaucratic, corrupt, do-nothing UN, or they will be short of funds when the Bush-led US decreases - or ends - its support.

I am overjoyed at the failure of Osama bin Laden's carefully timed video of invective against the US and its President in hopes of using Islamic scare tactics on the American people. Bin Laden's aim was to entice our voters to elect a new President who will not be as robust in his pursuit of terrorists and more willing to "negotiate" with Islamic Fundamentalists. He did not understand that Americans are not so panicky as the French, fearful as the Spanish, or unthinking as the English. (As for the Germans, they should know better; we have defeated them in battle often enough to convince them of the rightness of our ways.) I hope Osama dies in a blast from a bunker-buster before he gets a chance to make another video or another attack on our nation.

The blatant attempts of European nations and the EU to cause our President discomfort in his efforts to bring peace to the world make me glad that they are so disappointed with the election results. My joy is unbounded at the chagrin of the French and German and other anti-Bush, anti-American nations (including the people of the UK - but not their loyal and faithful government led by Prime Minister, Tony Blair). Now let those U.S. - sheltered Europeans worry about the end of American financial and military assistance when they have problems. Let them beg for American military aid and other handouts that have helped to sustain their economies. And let them perish in their own sweat when we remove our troops from Germany, the Balkans, and other trouble spots where we have pulled their chestnuts out of the fire.

I relish the hope that Islamic fundamentalists will now understand the election result as a blow from which they cannot recover. It fills me with joy that their dreams of world domination will be shattered by Bush's and the American nation's resolve to see them defeated and sent to join their Allah - without the 72 virgins waiting for them.

It pleases me more than I can say that the Senate Minority Leader, Thomas Daschle lost his seat. As the leading obstructionist for the Democrat party, he was primarily responsible for withholding approval of many Bush appointments to Federal judgeships, high-level positions, and other necessary personnel. Good riddance.

The demise of the junk-yard dog, loudmouth James Carville, also brings me great happiness. That happiness is further enhanced by the victory of the first Republican to win a Senate seat in Louisiana, Carville's home state.

I am delighted with the success of John O'Neil and his Swift Boat Vets - and with those thousands of non-Swifties who joined with them - on their forthright revelation of the truth of Kerry's service in Vietnam. They took a truthful but difficult position and made an impact - good and honorable Navy men all. Bush gets gentlemanly credit for not using them and their data in his campaign to demean Kerry, but the word was out that they spoke the truth. I maintain that they were the MVPs of this election; their testimony turned the tide against Kerry, and he never recovered.

And, finally, I must express my unbounded gratification at the defeat of Senator Kerry, a worthless Senator, anti-military extremist, lying self-promoter, and former Naval officer who disgraced us all. His traitorous collusion with the enemy is second only to that of Jane Fonda. He should have been court-martialed for giving aid and comfort to the enemy in time of war. His dishonorable quest for medals and a quick return to the US, where he turned against his shipmates and lied about their actions resulted in a less than honorable separation from the Navy. Jimmy Carter's amnesty allowed him to file for, and get, an honorable discharge 18 years after he left the service. He should have received a court martial.

While my thoughts may seem to be mean-spirited, do not be confused - they really are mean-spirited, as I mean them to be. I have suffered the tortures of the damned over the past year as I heard and read the lies and nasty remarks from politicians, citizens, and media "experts" about our President. I have barely tolerated the feeble but divisive attempts of foreign and domestic peaceniks to build a case against our war on the Islamic fundamentalists, who use terrorism as a weapon against us in order to intimidate out citizens and drive some of our gutless politicians to seek "negotiations" to avoid "confrontations" with those who seek to kill our citizens. Most of all, I have seethed with anger at those who shamefully derided our military, blissfully reporting on their failures and neglecting their successes. They triumphantly celebrated our difficulties by running daily body counts of our own heroic men killed in battle with the enemy, even publishing their pictures in papers and on TV as if to mock the President who sent them to defend our nation. I have only disgust for such tactics. And those are the very same people who now plead for "united actions" in the House and Senate, now that they are in a steadily declining minority. I would advise our President to "watch your six" because these are really enemies and they are not to be trusted.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Crap

Patton is on next. Guess I won't get my full night's sleep. Interesting note: Screenplay by Francis Ford Coppola. Senior Military Advisor to the film: Omar Bradley, General of the Army(Ret.)

Robert Mitchum, you are the MAN!

It is the wrap up of Veteran's Day weekend on AMC and they are showing "The Longest Day". here is the cast list: The Longest Day .

This is amazing. So many stars. What gets me is the number of stars who, themselves, served in the war that was portrayed.

Eddie Albert: USN Coxwain and Higgins Boat driver, so seeing him walk off of a Higgins boat in the film gives me willys thinking about what he was feeling...

Robert Mitchum: USMC Nuff Said.

Paul Anka: USMC See above.

George Segal: USMC

Of course, this is personal knowledge, I'm betting that most of the cast served during the war in the various branches, since every able body was in it. I just wanted to point out the Sailors and Marines in the film...

The Toast

LBG and I were enjoying an excellent dinner and some very nice scenery, when he raised a glass for a toast. I said "Here is to the end of a very long two weeks and a great time tonight.". He replied with "Happy Birthday, man." I grew very serious upon realizing what his toast was for, and that he even placed importance on our day, last week. I clinked glasses with him with a very somber face and said with a gratefulness that he might never understand, "Thanks, man."

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Chicago, Chicago, that toddlin' town...

The Combo

I have had the opportunity to work with some long-time Chicago residents in the last few years. One of whom I got to talking with about differences in food between the north and the south. The conversation actually started with me convincing him that they were breaking ground behind our building to erect a White Castle burger joint.

Nooo Waaaay!
Yep.
Nooooo Waaaaay!
Nah, You're right. I'm messin' with ya.
I'm going to kill you, and kill you slow......

He told me all about the cooking Chicago is famous for. The way the pizzas are made, the way the dogs are made, how a dog at Wrigley field tastes, and what a delight that is 'the combo'.

The Combo is a spicy, not sweet, Italian sausage that is grilled and placed on a roll, not a bun. It is topped with thin sliced Italian Scala beef; thin slices of grilled prime rib, actually, and then topped with a combination of peppers and onions.

Stumbling on a Gold Mine

LBG and I were planning for some low-key action. I had just come off of two weeks of pure hell, as had he, at work and after wrapping things up, spent the better part of today in a coma. We are talking a total catharsis through sleep, and wakeful periods laying catatonic in bed watching a celebrity poker showdown marathon. Speaking of which, what kind of moron lays down pocket cowboys just because the dealer flopped a pair of tens? Chucklehead superstar was faced with a good bet and a good aggressive posture, but sheesh! He wasn't even on a short stack!

Anyway, LBG didn't want to spend much money and neither did I. We had to figure out where we could go to eat and enjoy an evening that didn't leave us more than fifty or sixty dollars each out of pocket. He is looking to slam cash into his bank account for the final stage of his bike modification and I am slamming all the funds I can so I can take 'Hilts' home with pure cash.(you like that, LBG? I'm naming it after McQueen in The Great Escape. Roll it off of your tongue: Dobra and Hilts, Dobra and Hilts.) We decided on, wait, If I name the place, everyone will start going there because of word of mouth and then the place will be packed all the time and it will no longer be our local place. Aww, who am I kidding, the only people who peruse this page are 14 year olds who got an odd hit on their search engines mistaking 'Clime' for 'Climax'. We decided on Ben's Half Yard House on Lower Greenville. Great Place. Expert staff.

Sex for the mouth without any hair.

So I open the menu and look it over. At the bottom of the lefthand page is a section titled 'Chicago Specialties'. The flagship item offered is, you guessed it, 'The Combo'. I guess the owner is a displaced Illinois native from the Chicago area.

I took the plunge and ordered it. I ordered it from Becca, one of the best servers either LBG or I have ever come across. Gotta give props. When the meal is served I have a plate in front of me with a french bread roll filled with Italian sausage, beef and mixed onions and peppers. If I had no restraint whatsoever, I would have ordered two more to follow. Man O Man. I am a believer. Hail the Combo!

The Plastics

On a side story, close to the end of our evening, three perfectly sculpted ladies, thanks to a surgeon on their eighteenth birthday most likely, strolled into the place and took a table. SMU chicks. Logical, since we were in SMU territory. I guess they were looking for something new and tried the place out. They took a table maybe twenty five feet from the one LBG and I were occupying, and I happened to be seated facing them. I noticed something. One was facing me, and the other two had their backs to me. The one facing me kept leaning in to the other two girls and then they would turn around and look over their shoulders at our table. This was curious, as they were paying some attention to us. Then it hit me. I'm still laughing at it now. At about the same time the Plastics came in, Fox Sports Net began broadcast of the USC-Arizona game and this was being projected on the establishment's big screen. The girls happened to be in DIRECT line between me and my USC Trojans, whom I haven't seen play in three weeks. I'm looking past them and watching the game, while they're thinking the knuckle-dragger in booth two is scoping them out. Tee-hee, Tee-hee......

Fun had by all. Give your folks my best regards. Clime.

Friday, November 12, 2004

Quirks of Married life: Not just stereotypes.

Can Some One Tell me...

...Why newly married people feel the compulsion to make all their single friends and associates married too?

JW, my counterpart, and the operations manager at work, is a great guy. But for the first six months or so that we worked together, it was all business; very polite to each other, a lot of tact used in solving mutual problems, a lot of small talk. Then the trashtalk came, polite at first, then increasingly bold. Then, in the course of our interaction at work some humor came out. You know, the test humor you use to see what a person's threshold is, somewhat risky but not outrageous. Then that gradually increases in outrageousness till you are comfortable telling a certain range of jokes. It's the natural course of work interaction. Of course I can't go up to a guy like this, newly married with a newborn child and tell my brand of joke. "What's the best thing about having sex with an eight year old girl? You can flip her over and you have an eight year old boy!" See? I have common sense. But long story short, we have a friendly working relationship.

A couple of months ago we had our first out of the workplace social interaction. He, myself, and our Austin Territory outside sales account manager met and shot pool after work. Well, they got there first and got a billiard table and the beers shuttling over to the adjoining high table. When I walked in, it being a poolhall and a source of beer, I went from 'Mr. Scho' to 'Scho'. I'm walking over to the table and my head is on a swivel, Hot chick there, there, lemme crane my neck here..and there, there, and......there. I make my usual comments about the talent in the place. JW notices this and after we all get to know each other a bit socially, he goes "Soooo, you think that one over there is some talent, huh? Let me walk over there and set you up for the introduction..." Nooooooooooo! I'm shooting pool over here! JW tried to set me up with every little chicken in the place. This goes to prove that A.) He wants to get all the single employees involved and eventually married, and B.) After a year of marriage, he is now trying to live the single life again vicariously through me. ....And since I'M THE ONLY FREAKING SINGLE GUY IN THE WHOLE BUILDING AT WORK, I guess I'm his pet project. Yeah, and if I did work the ladies at the place, and one happened to have an obnoxious/homely/extremely drunk friend, would he be my Wingman? nooOOOOooo.... he's married. Thanks pal.

So we had a CPI and an outside audit today. I was paired up with an outside auditor for most of the day and the day was Loong. Very early in the morning till very late at night. People started folding tents and going home one by one, the hourly's at first, then some Mgmt, till it was Me, JW and this auditor wrapping up... This chick was anal, and much of the cause of the late day and long audit. She went through EVERYTHING. So at about eight, when I knew she was down to the 'close my laptop and start throwing shit in my bags' stage, I told JW I was pulling chocks and taking off. Now to preface this next item, I will say that this chick was okay to better than okay, but I have been at odds with this girl for NINE hours doing this audit. So I'm almost to the front door when I hear from around the corner and behind me on the other side of all the cubes "Yeah, he's a really good guy. I can give you his number if you want."

~best scared terrier impression~ AARRR AARRR AARRR AARRR! , right out the door and a world landspeed record to the car. Sheesh!

JW is a great guy, but some people are single for a reason. I can hear the diaper stories and the cutesy married stuff and live the married life vicariously through them. That's good enough. Marriage is for the other guy. Salud!

Thursday, November 11, 2004

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers. For he today who sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

I really look forward to November 10th. For that day and the next day, I am contacted by brothers whom I haven't seen or heard from in weeks, months, and years. It is our day, and our legacy. We are 229 years old. We few, we happy few. I personally don't think I look older than 26, and have been told this by a little chicken who caught me clean shaven for a special occasion, but that's another issue all together. We are Marines. We are America. We are the last core group of Americans in this morally split, media jaded, and partisan society who say, "Right or wrong, I stand by My Duty, My Honor, and above all, My Country." We were built on tradition, and values of Honor, Courage, and Commitment, that haven't changed in almost three centuries, while our world has. This is the sole reason why no matter the circumstances, the theater of combat, the political influences, and the social makeup of the actors who once stood in a MEPS and raised their right hand to come to be in the fight they are in, we win our battles.

In the words of Chief Warrant Officer Garland E. Fuller, USMC:

"Keep yer dick hard, yer powder dry, and the world WILL turn."

Semper Fi.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

News Item

It has been reported that Rodney Dangerfield's 15 year old son, prior to Mr. Dangerfield's passing away, got a hold of Mr. Dangerfield's Viagra prescription. Mr. Dangerfield's son suffered third degree burns to both hands.....

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

In the words of Earl Pitts: Uhhmerican "You know what makes me sick?"

Lottery Ticket Purchases should be limited to non rush-hour periods.

So, as the great procrastinator that I am, I let the fuel gauge needle fall below the "empty" tic-mark on the gauge to the "You really want to walk home tonight, don't you?" zone. So before making my daily trek home through countless assholes, whores, dicks, and bitches(I label them according to the level of their driving; categorizing them from stupid, to lazy, to outright outrageous, the most vile, of course, being the 'c' word and the 'MF' word.), I had to hit the 7-11 on the corner to fill up.

Four Simple Words

All I wanted to do was chug some petrol into the 'beater' and go home. It was such a simple task, really. Go in, say 'Hi.', be greeted by the foreign, but friendly and polite (I'm a firm believer that the world has manners. We do not.) clerk, and say those four simple words.

"Twenty on pump two."

I couldn't do that. Not if my socks were on fire, causing me to thrash around and knock a hornet's nest down, to their great ire, causing the little beasties to ravage my body with repeated stings, because they can inflict multiple attacks, whereas the common bee cannot(thank you discovery channel, you've enlightened and terrified me).

Why couldn't I do that, you ask? I'll tell you.

Because Gomer in line in front of me was buying lottery tickets. This guy, and it's the same guy everywhere, proceeded to go through a spiel that took a full fifteen minutes. Here is the guy. Between forty and fifty, pinstriped Oxford shirt with sweatstains, plaid shorts, white socks complete with hole in the heel of one of them, sandals, and heavy gold chain. He always shuffles his bills for two minutes to see what he can just GIVE AWAY to the state Lottery board.

Hmmmmm. Give me a Lotto Texas ticket. Cash Option. No, Make that a quick pick(where the numbers are auto generated), No, let me fill out a manual ticket AT THE COUNTER, AND buy a quick pick. Oooh, lets see what scratch offs I can buy with the singles left over. I'd like that one......and......that one.....and..............................that one.....................and......no, not that one.............that one...............oh, and that one.

This guy really wants two in the head. If it took any more time, LBG could very well have not have made it to Dallas Honda to pick up his newly modified Dobra, as I was his chauffeur over there so he could ride it away to his ritualistic 'bike night', and that would just not do.

I'm calling the Governor tomorrow. Ticket sales from 0900 to 1130, 1330 to 1630, and 1830 to 2200, when the numbers are called. Is that so irrational? I think not...

Sunday, November 07, 2004

Well shit. Carson Palmer was the starting QB for the Bengals today. Carson Palmer, Heisman Trophy winning QB from USC. Yes, the Bengals D made the difference, but I gotta throw a USC thread out there.....G'night.

Holy Crap. 33 Degrees in Hell.....

Dallas drops a game 26-3 to Cincinnatti, and Da Bears drop the NY Giants 28-21. Woa. Linus, you've been praying to the Devil again, haven't you?

Sunday night waking up(As opposed to Sunday Morning Coming down; props Mr. Johnny Cash.)

Day Seven. Workday Seven. Upon arriving home after all my engagements, I really did crash. Crash Hard. This ole' body didn't tell me until today that it couldn't keep up with what I had lined up. Man... I hate waking up to dark windows. Seems like I wasted daylight.

Woke up in time to go get a bite, then lay back and enjoy a Sunday night in front of the dummy box, only Sunday nights aren't for dummies. See: ABC programming.

Am I a paradox for weeping while watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, then giggling at the catty in-fighting of Desparate Housewives and the sharp, witty, and extremely sarcastic dialogue of Boston Legal? I think so.

I'm even more of a paradox for publicly applauding ABC after they so aggressively snubbed my USC Trojans this season during their sports broadcast selections in this market.

Now it's back in bed, with a pending CPI, this week, that will be a toss up in it's monopoly of my time. That makes me uneasy, as I really do want to help LBG out on the front-end rebuild of Dobra. chrome....Chrome.....CHROME!

Oh, and William Shatner is the MAN! And James Spader is my Idol. (See: My business wear selections and his influence thereof.)


Saturday, November 06, 2004

This just in:

This week has found me working from 0630 to between 2100 and 2300 every day from Tuesday through Friday, with an early wake-up on Saturday too. On arriving home all I wanted to do was crawl in bed and sleep till Monday, but that didn't happen. The sleep part did happen at around 2140. Now I'm up because LBG and Mario are killing terrorists downstairs. I have no animosity. It is the weekend and Mario hasn't been out doing social stuff in a while. What first entered my brain upon waking up again was highly Urgent news.

The first trailer for Star Wars: Episode III is attached to the feature film "The Incredibles" and is showing on a nation wide theater run. A good buddy of mine saw it this week and said it was awesome. He also discussed the web reviews of the next flick by those film pirates out there and said this film was the best since 'Empire'. Fame? Glory? A Jedi craves not these things...

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Theres a WHAT outside?!!

High noon at the OK corral

It was getting close to the lunch hour when our branch manager came out and made this statement: "I'm locking the place down. No one leaves for lunch."

What the hell? Me and my gut had great plans involving a rendevous with a sultry foot long spicy italian sub... Why, then?

"Because there is a running gunfight between Richardson Police and a group of Bank Robbers with assault rifles and high capacity magazines on the next block. They have already carjacked three people trying to get away. They've already shot up three police cruisers too."

So THAT was the noise. At this news several people (snicker) walked straight out to their vehicles and, you guessed it, got 'Heavy'. And they were all mine. I love it. I'm beginning to love this state. "Hey, guys. I can turn a blind eye to the pistols, say, is that a Sig? If I can't see 'em, they're not there, in my book, but a DEER RIFLE?! " ..."wait a minute, these guys may have body armor ...bring in the deer rifle." Hehehehehe

Watching the report on the news, they showed footage of the area where this fight took place, from the air, and LBG's Company's Campus was near the center of the shot. Woa! We work that close together . If he got trigger time or shot at instead, I would never live it down.

The gunfight ended up traveling north into Plano, where these guys lit Plano P.D. up too, and then they got away. They were able to disable all pursuer's patrol vehicles with rifle fire and flee out of sight. Told you something would happen while the house was empty. There are still police helos heard overhead right now over every city north of Dallas.

Shucks, we were hoping for trigger time...

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Shhhhhh.

Don't tell anyone, but I'm sitting here at work posting. I am such a naughty boy....

... now to go around to everyone else's PC while they're out of their cubes and rename all their desktop Icons to read various combinations of "My Porn"...

Monday, November 01, 2004

"You see, the rule of thumb is to-" "Wait, the rule of THUMB?!"

LBG is in hotlanta all this week for a conference and that pretty much leaves the house empty. I always get a little skittish in an empty house. You hear noises that you normally don't, and inmates perform a sucessful prison break in your area and remain at large the entire time you are alone in the house. Happens every time.

I have to keep myself distracted, so I ran straight over to Big Buy and re-purchased a copy of Boondock Saints. The film is so good, I know I'll never see the old copy of the film we loaned out.

This film was released in 2000. Remember it? No one did. Not a very long theater run. When it was released on DVD in 2002, big buy employees bought the unheard of title for themselves, hey it was ten bucks a copy, just as an experiment. You know...catchy cover art, Willem Defoe on the cover, give it a try. The employees raved about the film, told all the other store employees, who in turn watched and raved, telling all their friends. This happened in every store in the company. Buy summer of 2002, this DVD title became the fifth best selling title of the year, and that was the year Spiderman came out.

All this with absolutely zero advertising and media hype. Zilch. It was done completely by word of mouth. Awesome.

Now for a nice quiet evening watching the McManus twins wreak havoc on the Boston mob....