You Played it for her, you can play it for me...

Eerie.

No sooner than I had posted about the subject, I come to find that today, Turner Classic Movies (TCM) is airing a Bogart Marathon. Freaky. I noticed that Turner has given up the concept of colorizing classics, thank Darwin....

Oh, I just gotta.

Two questions, posed to me by LBG's former boss, I think, at a house party he and I attended a few years ago. I got them right. And got in his good book.

What was printed on the label of the bottle that Captain Renault dropped into the wastepaper basket in the airport hangar very near the end of Casablanca?

What was the name of the Mexican town Bogart was in, in the beginning of the film 'Treasure of the Sierra Madre'?

Even one will impress me. And here is a hint: the second answer lends itself to a song title of Jimmy Buffett's that ends in 'Trauma'......

Good luck.

Woohoooo

Arrrrr.

As Stodgy will attest to, the first PC game I ever became addicted to was Pirates! A Microprose title created by Sid Meier. This was years and years and years ago. I cant remember if it was C64 or our first bonafide PC. Welp, Atari Games is introducing Sid Meier's reincarnation of Pirates! for the PC. I had no idea that Meier was still creating games till I read this Review . Sorry LBG, you won't see me for a few weeks...

Year of the Monkey? I don't think so....

The Chinese astroligers say this is the 'Year of the Monkey'. They are wrong.

It is the 'Year of the Ass'.

I spent a goodly amount of time in a mall on Thursday, (yeah, slam me for being a last minute shopper), and spent exactly my second day of the year in a mall walking around to find my last gift.

I was in the zone, nothing could keep me from my target; my last gift. The denim tried their hardest, though. I don't know if it is the water, genetics, or the new cut of jeans this year. But the Gap/Old Navy/Ralph Lauren tried to do their best.

Everyone, I mean EVERYONE had a very nice caboose. I thought I was in heat, but I mentioned this to LBG on our Christmas night outing and he agreed, with several examples pointed out to me inside Snookies Grill.

I wonder if denim has a vintage, because I will remember the year 2004. Ahhh. What a year.

The only reason I write this is the fact that I had the opportunity to just relax on the eve of Christmas Eve, spend a great evening with the folks on Christmas Eve, spend a great day on Christmas Day eating every two hours, spend a great evening with LBG on the perfunctory Christmas night depressurazation night out, and the night of snow crab legs, buffalo wings, and some really nice asses to look at tonight. Curse you, Mer for not having your ass there, too...

This was the first Christmas for me in over five. Till now it was just a guaranteed day off....

Don't call me buddy, pal, or sweetheart....

Had another craving for a climb, but it was nigh on 2300hrs, so the North Face of the Eiger had to do. Some facts:

Writer: Trevanian
Director: Clint Himself
Score: The Man, John Williams. Woohoo.

Cool Facts:

The shoot marked the last time that anyone was allowed to climb the "Totem Pole" in Monument Valley. In return for permission to film there, climbers with the production had to remove all of the pitons, which had accumulated from years of climbing, on their way down. (What is a piton? Just Kidding. Glad we moved away from that. Driving a spike into a natural formation to allow it to freeze and thaw and crack and crack more and more is criminal.)

One climber died during the shoot.

Clint did all of his own stunts, including the scene where he cuts his safety line over a drop of at least one thousand feet.

You've got to be kidding me...

Kicked out of my own building.

JT came into the area today at about 1430 nosing around. JT is my kinda boss. He NEVER enters my sphere of influence, unless there is a problem. The flipside to this is the fact that the only feedback I get outta the big Cajun is negative. I can deal with that, however, as I have been dealing with that situation all of my employed life.

JT: Whatcha got going on?

Clime: Stuff.

JT: You care to elaborate?

Clime: I got the Israeli prime minister for a meet and greet at three, I star in a new porn film at four, at five there is that seminar on modern aeronautics over at Jet Propulsion Laboratories, oh, and I gotta save a GI's life one armored Humvee window at a time for the rest of the day...

JT: Jackass

Clime: You asked....stuff....

JT: Well, drop it all and get outta here.

Whatever. I have work to get done. A half hour later he comes back around.

JT: Do I have to hold your hand and walk you to your car? Because I can do that...

Clime: Okay, okay....

He summed up his perspective on the matter with this statement. In nine days, it's going to start all over again for another year. It is not going anywhere. It never.....goes....away. So never feel like you are going to accomplish it all by the end of the working day, and keep 'you' and your life and family the priority.

Wow, LBG has been telling me this for years, while watching me let myself get ass-raped by my former employer, and I never listened to him. Just gave him the stock "ya, yer right" and went on to work harder and harder and longer and longer for no real return. The above statement by JT, and my present situation this year have dramatically changed my perspective. Its a life you've got at home, go home to it. Even if it is sitting in yer boxers removing nameless individuals online from their money at poker. So there.

"It's your hooooome! Go hoooooome! What? Are you too good for your hoooome?!

What's this white crap falling all over the place?

And why does my car slide into turns? It never does that....

Calgon....take me to Oceanside......

You Trying to Say Jesus Christ Can't Hit a Curveball?!

My second favorite movie of all time is on television. When it came out, Pops took Stodgy and I to Loews Theater at Park and Central to see it. We all Rolled with laughter, and as I grew older I rolled even more as I grasped the humor I missed before due to my age.....

This just in:

The yellow Live Strong bracelets you are seeing everyone wear, may be deadly.

This is no joke. Well, it has ironic humor, but it is no joke. The color of the band is the same color as that of a major hospital corporation's designator bracelet placed on patients who opt for "Do Not Resuscitate". Okay, everything is real. And it is funny. Real funny.

Just give them your money folks. If you're the kind of person who would do that in the first place, everyone around you already knows you are cool. No reason to wear a bracelet, or a ribbon, or a t-shirt. That's what the shallow hollywood types wear to make the public think they are here in life for more than a buck.

Rafiki: Too Easy a Target.

Rafiki is from Ghana, West Africa. He was raised and schooled in England, where he learned to excel at the beautiful game. That is where our co-worker relationship originated. Nothing in common but the game of soccer, coupled with my curiosity about other cultures and his openess to tell of his.

When we work together, we clash in the area of background music. Since he is an African born limey, he is practically Jamaican, so reggae is a big part of his life. Fine, I can listen to, and sing along with Buju Banton, Jimmy Cliff, Bunny Wailer, and Bob all day long. He is also a big fan of American Hip-hop. I....am not.

Today, he had the aforementioned vile sounds coming from the radio, while he, Linus, and I were all working together. I couldn't resist dropping some new material on him, to the outright spasms of laughter by Linus.

Open with a P-Diddy reference:

Say, did you vote, or did you die?

Fuck you, man.

All I'm saying is that is a bit too narrow a path, I can think of several avenues in that scenario.

Fuck you, man.

Laughter from Linus.

And why do rappers side with Democrats so fervorously? You would think they would side with Republicans, what with the Republican support of, say, guns and materialism...

Fuck you, man.

More laughter from Linus.

And the Democratic ideology is right up a rapper's alley, right? When you see a rapper in a 2 mile per gallon Escalade wearing eight grand worth of bling-bling around his neck, you gotta think to yourself "Now there is a progressive thinker."

Fuck you, man.

Linus is trying not to piss himself at this point.

I can't take credit for the material, but I sure can take credit for the delivery and the reaction. Discontent, chaos, cheap laughter at a friend's expense. My work here is done...

Mixed Reaction

XXX: State of the Nation

Daaaaaaaaaamn. You got fired on yo day off?!

Next job: Saving the world. Ice Cube is the new Triple X. Hmmm. I didn't see this one coming, but an actor change was imminent, as Vin Diesel is so obviously homosexual. He pulled off a wild, silly, guiltily fun ride with XXX, but c'mon, the man smokes pole...

The first movie was fun. Lotsa fun. It was silly but very well done. At the time it came out, it was more of a Bond film then recent Bond films. For pure escapism, I'd give it four of five stars. Dialogue was well done, stunts were well done, story was outrageous, but what superagent movie story isn't? That and a very pleasing to the eye Italian hottie co-star.

With this one, I'm on the fence. The production has brought in Blue Chip actors like the returning Sam Jackson and new to production Willem Defoe, among others, most likely to increase box office draw for the 'It's got big names on the Marquee, it's got to be good.' crowd. Ice Cube has turned out some very strong, masculine performances, and can be a very good lead. He has talent. The only snag is this: if the script incorporates 'urban' thinking reflected by his 'urban' lingo, the character image will be shot. No guy from 'da hood could become a super spook(no, not the racial slur, the intelligence agent) using hood language, as the trailer alludes to. Case in point, Tom Clancy's Ding Chavez, superspy, came up from the L.A. gangs to join the Army, was recruited by the CIA, and after his undergraduate degree and Master's degree, spoke better english than his recruiter and mentor, Mr. Clark. A more plausible scenario in the world intelligence business.

I'm looking forward to the super-stunts, the explosions, the chases, and the gunfights, but I do want a shred of plausibility. You be the judge.

XXX State of the Nation

Fight on.

E. gave me a really nice Christmas card and a candy cane yesterday evening. Here's the thing: The candy cane wasn't your run of the mill cane. No cookie cutter white cane with red bands, here. It was a cardinal and gold cane. USC colors. Now isn't that the most excellent? I am truly touched...

Hmmmm

News Item:

A Dallas Police Tactical Officer had his take-home patrol unit broken into and it's contents stolen. Apparently, DPD's Tactical Officers, given their round-the-clock-readiness mission, are assigned a patrol car as a personal car. The contents stolen out of the patrol car were the officer's body armor, SMG, and all the magazines for the weapon.

That explains the DPD unit, parked in a residence parking space just inside the gates of the property LBG and I live in, every evening. That leads me to only one conclusion:

Papa needs a new MP-5!

Just gotta smile....

No, my biological clock is not ticking, but...

...I just watched an ad on television that I'll chalk up as the ad of the year. Cue music: Silent Night. Cue video: a collage of sleeping infants. End caption: Peace on Earth.

Yep, the 'Awwww' factor kicked into high gear.

Yes, I, like any one my age, have entertained the notion of having a child to raise. My favorite nickname for the little person would be 'lil bit', after two of the company's employees described their grandson as such...

Aaaaah...Sunday.

Two weeks till Hell, and I'm actually enjoying it...

After spending the last five years away from a uniformed service and in the retail industry, I have become so bitterly abhorred by the Christmas holiday that for me it is no more than a guaranteed day off. Christmas in retail is the seventh level of hell. I can recall working a Christmas season, in logistics; not even sales, so hard and for such long periods of time that I held off an illness till Christmas day, where I proceeded to collapse with a 104 degree temperature. Yeah. Good times. And it's been that way for five years. Till now.

Working at a professional job for a defense industry supplier, aka 9-5 baby! has given me so much more peace and serenity. I have not felt like a hamster in a wheel yet, and it is strange.

Today actually felt like Christmas. I promised LBG that I would take him to big buy to knock out his Christmas list, on big buy's dime, of course, but shhhh don't tell them that. It didn't end there. Next there was Target, or as the Texans say, Target, for more Christmas supplies. Then to the Christmas Store, or as the unenlightened would know it, Toys 'R Us. I haven't been inside a Toys 'R Us in years. If it hadn't been for all the hot Mamas walking around to arouse my manliness, I would have slipped straight into 6 year old mode.

Clime: How about this race track? It's cool!
LBG: C'mon man, this is for my nephews. You know, Family? It's gotta be a track that goes halfway up a wall too...
Clime: Gotcha. I'm on it....

Then it was off to NorthPark Mall, just north of SMU. NorthPark Mall is the last bastion of the Aryan Race. All rich blonde bombshells looking for or married to even richer husbands. LBG and I felt like Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper rolling through that southern town in Easy Rider. Still, Christmas trees were up, lights were on, kids were crowded around a Mall Santa, and all was good. Next came the return home and the putting up of Christmas lights on the exterior of the house. That really hit home. It's Christmas time and I am not in a state of dread. I don't have to wake up tomorrow knowing that I'll have to work like a packmule for a company that operates later and later every year to suck every last consumer dollar out of the general public. I truly think that in the next two years my former employer will stay open till midnight on Christmas eve, just to get the last buck possible.

But wait, theres more!

In keeping with Just Me 's schedule, per her advice, I needed to ask E out again on or before the 10th. Her being a female, and me being a knuckle dragging mouth breather with a penis, I took heed and followed this. Called last Tuesday. E had to close for the rest of the week and had plans on Sunday. Yep, Clime is getting shined on... To my surprise, I got asked to dinner tonight. I guess plans were changed to accommodate an evening with afore mentioned knuckledragger. Dinner, outstanding. Conversation, outstanding. Not wanting to end the evening and go to Duke's in Addison for a nightcap, outstanding.

I could be the usual nasty, cynical animal that I am this time of year, but damn, I sure am having too much fun....

Update

Okay. 'Tilt' is not an ESPN Film. Rather, it is an ESPN series. Several write-ups come up on google, but they are archived rather than active pages, so no links are forthcoming...

WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Notable occurences on a very short Saturday night.

Hei-Five. USC's Matt Leinart wins the Heisman Trophy. Justice is served. Reading the local paper for the past week has been torture, as we share a river with Oklahoma, and because of this, the Morning News feels inclined to throw in with the OU, and Big 12 clowns...

Directly after the award presentation show, ESPN aired "3": the Dale Ernhardt Story. I am not a NASCAR fan, and when I did give the sport a peek, I definitely was NOT an Ernhardt fan. Nevertheless, this ESPN film was well done and, I must say, much better than average in the 'interesting' category.

It was during this film, that I had a religious moment. They played the first trailer for "Tilt". A poker film starring Michael Madsen. That's right, a Poker film starring Michael Madsen. Wapaah! Best of all Worlds! Mr. Blond/Mr. Chapel/KillBill's'Bud' as a poker table heavy.

Now to find that trailer online so I can share it with 'the world', aka thosepeoplewhoknowmeandmypenchantforTarantinofilmsandmymancrushonMichaelMadsenwhoalsohappen toreadthisjournal.

Film Fakers

Rolled Home late. Stayed up Later...

Got in after my sixteen hour day, turned on the television for ambient noise and realized that AMC was broadcasting an encore presentation of Film Fakers, which was originally broadcast earlier this evening. Gave it a whirl.

It's a reality show, but I think it is a lot less scripted than the other 'Reality' shows out there. It wasn't bad.

Jerm, you are the MAN!

Jeremy Schwartz was awesome. The guy has come a long way. Still has the same glib manner. Still shows all of his emotions in his eyes and that famous cocked eyebrow. Now to check imdb.com to see if he has a listing, then I know he really HAS made it....

Home

DirecTV

After living in this house for over a year, I finally sat down and reprogrammed the channel list on the guide for my direcTV receiver to reflect only the channels I watch, taking all the dead and useless channels off. For all this time, I couldn't get espn, fox news channel, CMT etc. Instead I had pay channels we no longer subscribe to taking up space. Till now I could never figure out how to do it, or take the time to learn

Welp, I finally did it. Afterwards, I walked up to LBG.

"What does it say about me if it took me eighteen months to program my receiver?"
"It means you're finally home. Welcome home, man."

Insert chuckle here.

How cool is my dad?

On Sunday I went up to the folks place. Mama Clime had to attend a Christmas block party planning meeting, so that left Pops and I to fend for ourselves in the entertainment department. He suggested firing up the 50" DLP and watching a movie that he could normally couldn't watch with her around(no, dickheads, not porn, action flicks). Apparently, he had planned ahead and already made his selection. The DVD is fired up and what comes on? Boondock Saints.

"You. You like Boondock Saints?"
"Yeah, Love it! Got it at big buy for ten bucks."
"I love you, Pops."

Now, how cool is my Pops?

Da, da, DAAH! I'm Captain Chaos, with my trusty sidekick, Kato!

On a whim, I've got Cannonball Run in the DVD player. It's the kind of film where you know everyone, I mean EVERYONE is just having a ball doing the film, and they do it in a way to make the viewer feel like they are in on it all.

Terry Bradshaw(loading about six cases of beer): Did you get enough food?
Mel Tillis(holding up a bag of chips): Y-Y-Y-Yep.

That and the magic that is Dean Martin and Sonny Davis Jr.

Sonny: We've got a secret weapon. God is our copilot.
Deano: God is our copilot?
Deano: You remember our car? With two seats? (slapping Sonny in the face.)
Deano: Where's he gonna sit?! (slapping Sonny again.)

Chalk up two hours of giggling bliss.....

Anchors Aweigh....

Rivalries Abound

I know, I know. Today should be about USC-UCLA. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Stodgy and I are sons of a son of a sailor, and also happen to be U.S. Marines. This means CWO3 Pops, U.S. Army, is outnumbered today 2-1, or 3-1, if you count Shipfitter 1st Class GrandPops USN, RIP.

What does all this gibberish mean to you? Absolutely nothing. To us, it means today is the biggest day in college football. The Army-Navy game.

Army 13 - Navy 42

Get that mangy Mule outta here, Kaydets. The Goat needs more room to graze... Right On, Midshipmen....

A debrief still forthcoming, but because I couldn't figure out how to use the Harmony universal remote to watch TV (Clime, NASA is calling, they want to give you your old job back, designing rockets.) while scarfing down my chicken tacos and carne asada burrito(no, it's not the same as SoCal) I had to pick out a DVD. I picked The Eiger Sanction. That's it, end of evening. Friday night with my buddy Clint. Those of you with a penchant for literary entertainment must pick up Trevanian's sequel to Eiger: The Lou Sanction.

Every endevour has a cult following film. Soccer: Victory. Cycling: Breaking Away. Billiards: Poolhall Junkies. etc. For a rock climber or mountaineer, it's Eiger. Now to keep the dvd in my bedroom player to play over and over for the next month, leave the case in the living room downstairs, and thoroughly piss LBG off(the original rock climbing animal).

Please, oh please check this out....

Please check out Mrs. Maggie Mason at Mighty Girl. She is hilairious. Yes she is from San Fransisco. Yes, she was a Kerry campaign worker. Yes, she is a card carrying member of the liberal press. Yes, she one of the sharpest and most cynical observationists around. Down right funny. I'm a firm believer in "I despise what you said, but you said it very well." Anyway, her blog stuff is off topic daily happening stuff, and it is a riot.

It started with Chicken Fried Steak, then just got weird....

This has been, without a doubt, one of the strangest evenings I've had in years. Start with chicken fried steak and a best buddy, add a complete stranger who happens to be a dirty blonde bombshell, throw in Karaoke, then top it off with bikini oil wrestling. A complete debrief to follow... Of course I just know LBG is giving a recap right now, so check his analysis out. It will be more complete this evening, and a lot funnier...